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Some more Friday fun...

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  • Some more Friday fun...

    A man was sitting in the bar at Heathrow Terminal 3 and noticed a really
    beautiful woman sitting next to him.

    He thought to himself . "Wow, she's so gorgeous she must be an air
    hostess. I wonder which airline she works for?"

    Hoping to pick her up, he leaned towards her and uttered the Delta
    Airline slogan. "Love to fly and it shows?"

    She gave him a blank,confused stare and he immediately thought to
    himself . "Well, she obviously doesn't work for Delta."

    A moment later,another slogan popped into his head.So he leaned towards
    her again and said, "Something special in the air ..?"

    She gave him the same confused look.He mentally kicked himself and
    scratched Singapore Airlines off his list.

    He thought"Perhaps she works for Thai Airways ..." and said,"Smooth as
    silk?"

    This time,the woman turned on him and said, "What the f*** do you
    want?"

    The man smiled, slumped back in his chair and said . "Ahhhhh, Ryan Air !

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  • #2
    1. A man comes into the ER and yells, 'My wife's going
    >> to have her baby in the cab!' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the
    >> cab, Lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her under- wear.
    >> Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs ---and I was in the
    >> wrong one. Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >> 2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope
    >> on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.
    >> 'Big breaths,' I instructed. 'Yes, they used to be,' replied the
    >> patient. Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle , WA
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >> 3.. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I
    >> told a Wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.
    >> Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of
    >> the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'
    >>
    >> Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >> 4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment
    >> with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having
    >> trouble with one of his medications. 'Which one?' I asked. 'The patch,
    >> the Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm
    >> running out of places to put it!' I had him quickly undress and
    >> discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty
    >> patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old
    >> patch before applying a new one.
    >>
    >> Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk , VA
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >> 5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly
    >> patient, I asked, 'How long have you been bedridden?' After a look of
    >> complete confusion she answered..'Why, not for about twenty years -
    >> when my husband was alive.'
    >>
    >> Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson-Corvallis, OR
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >> 6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning
    >> and while checking up on a woman I asked, 'So how's your breakfast
    >> this morning?' 'It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't
    >> seem to get used to the taste' the patient replied. I then asked to
    >> see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'
    >>
    >>
    >> Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit , MI
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >> 7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a
    >> young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk,
    >> sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered..
    >> It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so
    >> she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely
    >> disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair
    >> had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, 'Keep
    >> off the grass.' Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a
    >> short note on the patient's dressing, which said, 'Sorry, had to mow
    >> the lawn.'
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    • #3
      Click link

      http://www.quizyourprofile.com/guessyournumber.swf
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      • #4
        Originally posted by JBJB View Post

        How does that work then????
        View my flickr

        'I am sure it must hurt your eyes to work filigree by candlelight.' - Jane Austen

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        • #5
          Ah - it worked for me!

          I did the same one a few weeks ago and it got it wrong!!

          Comment


          • #6
            Each house has one number of each original colour, so seeing as you have told it what colour you had choosen it can tell which your number is. The rest of the stuff is just there to confuse you!! Clever!

            Comment


            • #7
              Sorry for the bump but I just wanted to say that I thought those doctor jokes were fantastic!

              Si.
              Wood Tattoos
              Decorative Pyrography for all Occasions - Author of "Woodburning with Style" (2010) and "Learn to Burn" (2013)
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