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  • 2 Cows

    Found this on another forum and thought it was funny - hope it doesn't offend any nationalities out there

    SO******M:You have 2 cows, you give one to your neighbour.


    COMMUNISM:You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some
    milk.


    FASCISM:You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.


    NAZISM:You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.


    BUREAUCRACY:You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks
    the other, then throws the milk away...


    SURREALISM:You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
    harmonica lessons


    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire
    on the income.


    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to
    analyse why the cow has dropped dead.


    A FRENCH CORPORATION:You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a
    riot, and block the roads,because you want three cows.


    A JAPANESE CORPORATION:You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market it worldwide.


    A GERMAN CORPORATION:You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.


    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.


    A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.


    A SWISS CORPORATION:You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.


    CHINESE CORPORATION:You have two cows. You have 300 people milking
    them.
    You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity,
    and execute the newsman who reported the real situation.


    AN INDIAN CORPORATION:You have two cows. You worship them.


    IRAQI CORPORATION:Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them
    that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb you and invade
    your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a
    Democracy....


    WELSH CORPORATION:You have two cows. The one on the left looks very
    attractive.


    AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:You have two cows. Business seems pretty good.
    You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate


    A BRITISH CORPORATION:
    You have two cows. The Government says you have to buy a licence to
    milk them,but first you have to do a risk assessment, which only the
    government Quango is allowed to carry out. They charge you 5 times the cost of doing it. They find that the three legged stool is a risk under
    health and safety.You have to buy the EC approved 5 legged stool that is
    designed to support a milk maid of up to 250 kilos. It is too heavy to
    carry. The stool exceeds EC weight lifting limits for workers by 4 kilos,
    which just happens to be the weight of the fifth leg. To shift the
    stool from one cow to the other you therefore need a special (EC
    approved) trolley. The new stool and trolley are so expensive that you
    have to mortgage one of the cows to pay for them and pay for the
    mandatory training course you must take to get your licence to milk the cows.
    Visit Natty Netty for a huge selection of Iris Folding supplies


  • #2
    (((Claps))) (((Claps))) Brilliant!

    Comment


    • #3
      Very good!
      Jo x

      For handcrafted wooden gifts and decorations please visit http://www.sommerwood.co.uk

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      • #4
        Hippy: you have two cows and call them Daisy and Buttercup.


        Flutterby

        Mothers hold their childrens hands awhile and their hearts forever xx

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        • #5
          I'm welsh....................and that is soooooooooooo wrong.....................it's the one on the right that is most attractive...............lol
          Emma
          Luxury craft supplies & magnolia Stamps - Sassy Crafts
          Sassy Crafts Blog
          My Blog

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          • #6
            Just about sums up western "civilisation" methinks!

            Comment


            • #7
              Crafter : you have two cows, people pick them up and either want them in a different colour or they put them down again
              Blog Website Flickr

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              • #8
                Originally posted by JBJB View Post
                Crafter : you have two cows, people pick them up and either want them in a different colour or they put them down again
                So true!!!
                Visit my Etsy store http://swirlyarts.etsy.com
                My daily thoughts! http://swirlyarts.blogspot.com
                My blog of cute stuff http://cuteable.com


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                • #9
                  Hehe that cheered me up that did.

                  Cheers.

                  Lisa

                  Bowed Over
                  Handmade Dog Collar Accessories
                  www.bowedover.co.uk

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Heheheh!!
                    Like it!

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