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Feel like I'm the one losing control!!

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  • Feel like I'm the one losing control!!

    Where do I start?????

    Well, the problem is with hubby's health. It all started Christmas 2007 when he was having a lot of pain in his right knee...pain led to constantly 'giving' amongst other things, after loads of messing about with A&E, fracture clinics, etc he was admitted for surgery by an orthopaedic consultant last March. We were told during the surgery that they found damaged cartilidge so removed that and that everything should then be ok.

    Anyways as the months have gone by, his right knee has been getting worse, standing, sitting, walking, everything causes extreme pain and his prescribed painkillers don't really offer much relief. He went back and forth to the Orthopaedic department right up until December 2008 when they finally admitted that they haven't a clue what's wrong with his knee!!!! Thanks for finally owning up guys... morons!!

    So in the meantime, his left knee has gradually been getting worse as obviously he's been depending more on it to take the pressure off his bad knee. We went back to our GP who referred him to the Rheumatology department and was absolutely disgusted by the Ortho doctors...

    Anyway, he saw the Rheumatology consultant on Friday who was also disgusted by how he's been treated for the last fourteen months and is convinced that the Ortho's have missed something on the MRI scan which they did in November but due to hospital protocol they can't carry out another MRI for at least another three months so he's being sent for some other type of scan which I'm not sure exactly what it's all about but presumably might get us some answers. The Rheumatology guy also sent him for a whole load of blood tests which should also have been done months ago.

    I'm absolutely shattered as have been up all night keeping an eye on Gord as he's really not too good at the moment - his painkillers are now causing him to sleep all the time, though very disturbed due to nightmares and visions in his sleep, and hallucinations when he's awake... topped off with the fact that his right knee and his left knee are now as bad as each other. I've phoned the doctors this morning and been told if he's no better in a few days to get him down to see the doctor... not much help in the meantime though.

    I spent this morning trying to get hold of friends to see if anyone could sit with hubby while I went to the shops, etc but surprise surprise got nowhere. Why is it that people turn up unexpectedly when you're busy but when you need someone they're never available? I ended up having to take Gord with me, I had to drive the car (!) and thankfully there were no police patrols about as there's no way Gord could've walked with his knees and to be honest I didn't trust him to drive... thankfully he stayed in the car while I went where I needed to go and that all went ok.

    But since we got back it's been a nightmare, his hallucinations and confusion are getting much worse... we've just had a bit of an 'argument' as he was convinced that we'd been to the city centre today and he's bought an Xbox game which I was now hiding from him... we'd been nowhere near where he thought he'd been, we'd just been to the local shops. I've finally got him to accept that he didn't get a game today but now he seems even more agitated than he was before.

    It's getting to the stage that I really don't know what I'm supposed to do... the doctors are offering no help and he's refusing to go to the open surgery in the morning cos he says that if they thought he needed to see them then they'd give me an appointment for him, but they aren't having to deal with him.

    Right now, I really feel like closing myself away and screaming and shouting and just giving up... so much to do and I can't do it all on my own!!! I know Gord can't help being ill but some support from somewhere would be nice... our friends are staying away now they know Gord is bad and even when asked for help they aren't prepared to, and his dad just says he's busy with work!!! I can't leave him on his own in this state but other things still need done, like bills getting paid, etc etc... I feel like I'm losing control of it all!!

    Sorry to go on but I feel like I'm losing control here and I just wondered if anyone had been through anything similar and how they coped or dealt with it.

    Laura xxx

  • #2
    really sorry to hear of your problems. I can't help with advice I'm afraid as never been in that situation. Perhaps you could phone the NHS line or phone the docs who have an emergency number and someone will call. Really sorry I can't help but it's terrible that it's taken such a long time & it's still not sorted. The nightmares & hallucinations sound awful. I hope you get some help soon. My thoughts are with you & let us know when the diagnosis is finally made.
    My blog



    • #3
      Thank you for your kind words, I just feel so helpless and useless as there's nothing I can do to help him or stop what he's going through. I definitely think I'm going to have to phone NHS Direct.


      • #4
        I have a total knee replacement in my left leg, and next year I'll be having the other one renewed. It isn't life threatening, and you learn to live with it. The painkillers can be a bit of a problem until you find the right balance for your own system, but it's a lifestyle change - you have to adapt. I can assure you nobody is likely to die as a result of this.


        • #5
          (((hugs))) Laura, you're going through a lot.

          I would definitely get on the phone to the out of hours drs, ring your surgery's usualy number and it should give you the number to call. This is probably the best thing you could do, so that if they think it is necessary then he can be seen tonight. Or failing that and if you are really worried, get him to A and E.

          It is not right for him to be experiencing side effects like this from his painkillers, they need to change him to something else. It will be better for him and for you if he gets seen by a dr asap.

          Let us know how you get on

          Thinking of you x x x x x x


          • #6
            Am so sorry to hear what you've been going through, must be really hard, especially without people nearby to offer support. Am not suprised you're feeling so helpless, with relying on doctors who don't seem to be doing any good.

            I can't offer any medical related advice, but just to say am thinking of you and your husband, and hopefully by posting on the forum you can let off some steam, which might make you feel a little better?

            Sarah x


            • #7
              Thanks Peter, it's not so much the knee pain that's got me in a state (we've managed to deal with that thus far) but more the hallucinations, etc which have only started in the last few days, bearing in mind he's been on the same medication dosage and strength since the beginning. I guess I'm just no good at dealing with this sort of thing

              He was told a while ago that they think a knee replacement may be needed at some point in the future but won't be considered for 10+ years as he's apparently too young just now, being 29!! I wouldn't have thought age would matter but what do I know!!


              • #8
                Phone NHS direct now! he shouldn't be having hallucinations.
                "You've Got to Keep Your Mind Wide Open" - AnnaSophia Robb
                my Folksy shop Goldy'sclearoutblog debaynewebdesign


                • #9
                  With the OK of Laura, I'm going to close this now.