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Cried laughing....................................

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  • Cried laughing....................................

    The novel "Fifty Shades Of Grey" has seduced women - and baffled
    blokes. Now a spoof, Fifty Sheds Of Grey, offers a treat for the men. The book has author Colin Grey recounting his love encounters at the bottom of the garden. Here are some extracts...

    We tried various positions - round the back, on the side, up against a wall... but in the end we came to the conclusion the bottom of the garden was the only place for a good shed.

    ... She stood before me, trembling in my shed.
    "I'm yours for the night," she gasped, "You can do whatever you want with me."
    So I took her to McDonalds.

    She knelt before me on the shed floor and tugged gently at first, then harder until finally it came. I moaned with pleasure. Now for the other boot.

    Ever since she read THAT book, I've had to buy all kinds of ropes,
    chains and shackles.
    She still manages to get into the shed, though.

    "Put on this rubber suit and mask," I instructed, calmly.
    "Mmmm, kinky!" she purred.
    "Yes," I said, "You can't be too careful with all that asbestos in the
    shed roof."

    "I'm a very naughty girl," she said, biting her lip. "I need to be punished."
    So I invited my mum to stay for the weekend.

    "Harder!" she cried, gripping the shed workbench tightly. "Harder!"
    "Okay," I said. "What's the gross national product of Nicaragua?"

    I lay back exhausted, gazing happily out of the shed window.
    Despite my concerns about my inexperience, my rhubarb had come up a treat.

    "Are you sure you can take the pain?" she demanded, brandishing stilettos.
    "I think so," I gulped. "Here we go, then," she said, and showed me the receipt.

    "Hurt me!" she begged, raising her skirt as she bent over my workbench.
    "Very well," I replied. "You've got fat ankles and no dress sense."

    "Are you sure you want this?" I asked. "When I'm done, you won't be able to sit down for weeks."
    She nodded.
    "Okay," I said, putting the three-piece suite on eBay.

    "Punish me!" she cried. "Make me suffer like only a real man can!"
    "Very well," I replied, leaving the toilet seat up.

    "Pleasure and pain can be experienced simultaneously," she said,
    gently massaging my back as we listened to her Coldplay CD.

    Mo.XX



    Mo. Bodrighy Wood.
    Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage..Lao Tzu.
    www.bodrighy.co.uk
    https://twitter.com/#!/AuntieMornie

  • #2
    Great! I'd love to read the book!!
    www.dementiaactivitysupplies.weebly.com

    https://www.facebook.com/Dementia-Activity-Supplies

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Twinsgran View Post
      Great! I'd love to read the book!!
      20p on Amazon if you got a kindle. Just downloaded it for Mo.

      Pete
      "Where the spirit does not work with the hand, there is no art" ... Leonardo Da Vinci
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      • #4
        Originally posted by bodrighy View Post
        20p on Amazon if you got a kindle. Just downloaded it for Mo.

        Pete
        He's such a romantic LOL

        Mo.xx
        Mo. Bodrighy Wood.
        Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage..Lao Tzu.
        www.bodrighy.co.uk
        https://twitter.com/#!/AuntieMornie

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        • #5
          Originally posted by bodrighy View Post
          20p on Amazon if you got a kindle. Just downloaded it for Mo.

          Pete
          Thanks Pete....just bought it for 20p Happy New Shed.....I mean Year!!!
          Sarah x

          ~ The Lilac Dragonfly- Handmade Jewellery ~

          ~ Facebook Page ~




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          • #6
            It's on Twitter too, you can follow it on there.

            Personally I wasn't all that impressed with 50 Shades - I found it to be badly written and very slow. I didn't even bother to read the second and 3rd books in the series. I can't understand how any woman could find the book erotic -I would never allow a man to strike me.
            Daesul

            http://www.clairemanwani.com
            http://www.folksy.com/shops/clairemanwani
            http://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/ClaireManwaniPottery

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            • #7
              We sell this at work. In the warehouse we spent a laughter filled afternoon reading bits out to each other when we should have been booking the stock in

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