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A horrible 2011 and its only just March!

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  • A horrible 2011 and its only just March!

    I just need to vent to someone and the forum always seems to have people that are willing to listen and offer advice and maybe put things into perspective so I'm hoping they can do that for me.

    2011 is turning into the year from hell and its only just March! First was all the trouble I got into with my employer over my blog which ended up with my leaving my job after 10 and a half years.

    Since finishing on 28th January, I have applied for 57 jobs (yes that isn't a typo - it is 57) and haven't even managed to get one interview yet. In fact most companies don't even acknowledge receipt of your application I don't do anything fancy or unique - I'm a PA/secretary and there are loads of jobs out there - its just nobody seems to want me or even give me the opportunity to show what I can do.

    Money is now incredibly tight as the nappy cakes I make just aren't selling in quantities anywhere near enough to make ends meet.

    Knowing how hard a time I'm having, my eldest brother has paid for a plane ticket for me to go and visit him in Canada (the first time I've ever been able to go over despite his living there for almost 16 years as the funds have just never been available), but this has upset my sister and other brother who now aren't talking to me as they don't think its fair Simon has paid for me and not them (even though both of them could easily afford to pay for their own tickets).

    Then last night Folksy have advised me that I can't advertise my nappy cakes on their site as they aren't "handmade".

    I know none of the above is life-threatening and nowhere near as bad as the things a couple of other people on this forum are going through with both their own and/or a relative's health, but honestly ... I can't help thinking I must have done something really bad at some point for all this to happen.

    Everybody keeps telling me things can only get better but it seems to be a long while in coming and I'm getting to the point where I'm starting to believe nothing will ever go right.

    Sorry - reading this back it sounds like I'm feeling incredibly sorry for myself and I am aware I do have a lot to be thankful for - my health, my children etc., but don't you just sometimes wish things would go your way just once.
    Laura x

    email:- [email protected]

  • #2
    A friend (who's DH is being made redundant) posted the following on facebook the other day, I'm not usually one for sappy sayings but really liked this one, maybe it'll help you too...............

    Beautiful pictures are developed from negatives in a dark room...
    So if you see darkness and negatives in your life be reassured that a beautiful picture is being prepared.
    Visit Natty Netty for a huge selection of Iris Folding supplies


    • #3
      Sweetheart, things can get cr*ppy too.I wont go into my own sob story but basically life is rather bad, not life threatening as you say but could be soooooo much better.
      You have my every sympathy and I will join you in a bottl eof vino and throwing expensive things against a wall, and maybe screaming.

      This nappy cake business is ridiculous, Ive just had a look and theres 4 pages of nappy cake sellers on Folksy, one of them even mention the brand name of nappies they use!!Another uses a doll made by a well known artist!!Seems very unfair.
      Have you asked them why you differ to the other sellers?Have they banned the other sellers too?
      It seems you shiould ask question still you get an answer.
      Im fearing for my own goods now as i use components that other people have made for all my stuff.I think everybody does.

      Poisoned Apple Theatre - Handmade Crafts on Facebook


      • #4
        sorry youre having such a bad time Laura

        Re your sibblings, can you get your canada brother to explain to the others why he paid for you? maybe he can calm the storm

        Are you applying for jobs through agency sites? I know what a nightmare they can be. Could you maybe change direction and look for a different type of work?

        This could be an opportunity for you rather than a bad thing - maybe have a look at local markets and see if you could get a stall for your nappy cakes ? not craft markets, everyweek markets = more footfall


        • #5
          Hi Laura, so sorry that things have gone so down hill for you at the moment. I attended a "managing your future after redundancy" event at our work place today, and was told that my son and I are in the most diffucult age groups to find employment ( under 24 and over 50) so know where you are coming from on the job front but it wont happen for me until June .
          Yes, your problems are probably not as bad as some, but they are yours and relative to you. So dont feel guilty about feeling sorry for yourself at this moment in time.

          Having been in a bad place myself I can actually say that things will get better, but that is with time. Also speaking from experience, it all comes at once too. I remember bursting into tears when a Gas man serviced my central heating a swithced me off as dangerous ... it was that last straw at the time.

          I am about to reassess my life again ( sigh) but know that something will turn up (hope hope hope).

          I know it is hard, but try to keep smiling and keep going.
          If you dont have a go ................... you will never know


          • #6
            I added Folksy rules to your other thread.


            Poisoned Apple Theatre - Handmade Crafts on Facebook


            • #7
              Totally sympathise on the job situation. It just doesn't make any sense. I'm sure you are sitting there getting annoyed beacuse you are intelligent, capeable, qualified, keen and a hard worked, and no one seems interested!
              I'm in the same sitatuion atm, trying to apply for jobs and it is so frustrating, because you want to work, and I feel lazy every time someone asks how the hunt is going and I have had no interviews as if I havn't been looking hard enough.
              All I can suggest is make sure your CV is good and a few people have looked it over. Maybe try a new approach with your applications, it may be that you are not saying things in the way they want you to?
              Over time as you manage to solve each of these issues things will get better, it seems at that everything is building up a bit.
              Nattynetty, that is a beautiful quote.


              • #8

                I am so sorry to read how rough things are for you at the moment and has already been said, don't feel like you have to make apologies that your problems are not as bad as others' - to you they are, so you have nothing to apologise or feel bad for.

                It is true that things seem to all happen at once but this can also be down to the fact that you can look at things in a different way when you are feeling down and/or vulnerable. I strongly believe that all things happen for a reason (not that it is usually apparent what that reason is at the time!) and that you will come out of this period of hardship a much stronger person.

                Have a look into the various benefits which may be available to you whilst you are out of work - things like Working Tax Credits - I don't know what your OH earns but you may be entitled to something and it can be backdated up to three months so this may help you financially whilst you are looking for work. It doesn't usually add up to much but every penny counts when you are financially stretched.

                I agree that looking for alternative, regular sales opportunities is a good idea - think a little outside the box to see if there are untapped markets for you. With regards to Folksy, I would really press them to find out what you are doing differently to the other nappy cake sellers who are still advertising on their site. I would also look at Etsy as an alternative and also really heavily promote your own website. Are there any pre-natal classes in your area who you could contact to see if you could leave some of your literature and perhaps put up a notice on their noticeboard advertising your services? Can you expand what you do whilst still keeping to a similar theme? Is there an untapped market out there - can you make something similar for older children/adults?? Obviously not using nappies but perhaps towels or clothing of some sort?? (I am just rambling now as I don't make nappy cakes so am out of my creative comfort zone!!)

                I would try to speak to your brother and sister to explain your current situation and how low you are feeling and express how much this opportunity to see your brother in Canada means to you, especially at the moment and how his gesture of paying for your flight makes it possible. It could be that they just don't understand how down you are at the moment and telling them will smooth the water.

                Make sure you have a good rant and cry if you need to, if you can't do this so much then start a journal - write down everything you are feeling every night (for your eyes only) and get all your negative thoughts out. It certainly doesn't help to bottle it up or gloss it over.

                On the job front, keep going - the right position is out there for you but also keep on with your nappy cakes business, you do wonderful work and deserve to do well at it. See this as an opportunity to expand your horizons and perhaps branch out in a different direction...

                Most of all, the 'things will get better' is a throwaway comment but also true. Try to remain positive, know that life throws mega-bumps on the road in front of us and that you will come out the other end a stronger person.

                Keep talking to us and I really hope that you have used up all your bad luck for 2011 already - hey, just think what a fabulous time lies ahead of you!!!!

                Ali x

                Etsy Shop:
                Facebook: AlisCraftStudio
                Follow me on Twitter:


                • #9
                  Here is a little known fact with the 'general' public.

                  If you decide to start a new venture, you are unlikely to succeed. This isn't because you aren't dedicated, or haven't thought it through, it just means that the brain can only process so much of those little endorphins. It doesn't have enough to keep it busy, and eventually we start thinking negatively because we aren't pushing ourselves or the potential inside of us.


                  If you start TWO new ventures at once (or try to new things at once) they likelihood is you will succeed in both. This is because the brain is dragged into a state of awareness. Not only does it have to deal with one new thing, it has to process enough information quickly enough to deal with the second. During that lovely process not only are we happier with ourselves (because we are too busy with new tasks to think negative thoughts) we are also more aware of what is going on around us, thus much more positive with other people and situations.

                  Break it down into this...
                  1. Find a new job
                  2. Find a new outlet to advertise nappy cakes and thus make profit
                  3. Visit brother who you haven't been see in 16 yrs
                  4. Deal with family raised issues.

                  Put one and two together. Both are a means to an end. Folksy is not the be all and end all. Do some cheap/free advertising, get yourself (as strange as you may feel this is) to local bakers and card shops and gift places. Hell, try mothercare! And don't forget, at this time of year people are like rabbits. Get your name out now and in 9 months time you've got yourself a customer base!
                  Visit your brother. It will be good to get away from everything. It will help you think things through. Lighten your mood and help you put things into perspective.
                  And finally - it's all relative. No pun intended. Do what is right for you, and it all fall into place. Eventually, might take time, but eventually. If you are happier in yourself you will be better able to deal with family issues. Rule number one: Look out for number one.

                  You have two things to do, plus a little side quest there. Turn it into a learning curve, be positive and just jump in the deep end. Who knows, Canada might be why you had to leave your job. Never know right?


                  • #10
                    ****HUGS**** I think everyone has given some great advise already so I have come along to provide hugs!

                    Me & my OH have had a tough couple of years recently with family and work however even during the bad times there were good times. And now things are really starting to look up and improve. So, things will get better. The main aim is to stay positive as much as possible, this will help.

                    There will be bad days, and thats ok. Sometimes it's good to have a bad day, it makes you enjoy the good days better.

                    Take care and keep smiling!
                    For an eclectic range of cross stitch kits visit Midnight Curiosity


                    • #11
                      Hi Laura have you tried to sign up for agency work? With them they send you to different places all the time to cover people off work with sickness etc and you never know sometimes the job can become permanent. That is how my hubby got into Parcel Force. He was with 3 different agencies when he was in between jobs and he rarely had a day off. He would do anything from emptying dustbins to delivering plumbing components and washing machines. Of course he was with manual work agencies but there are plenty of agencies for office staff and secretaries.
                      I think your brother and sister are being a bit mean and your older brother should really set them straight. A year ago my brother bought me and hubby a flat screen tv cause our old one was really gubbed and we couldnt afford a new one but my sister was delighted for me cause she knows we dont have a lot of money with 3 teenagers sponging off us all the time.
                      Try not to think negative thoughts all of the time cause people can pick up on negativity and invariably negative things can happen.
                      Finally enjoy that trip to Canada....lucky you....yes you are!
                      Di x
                      Something Shiny Something Sparkly
                      Handmade Tiaras & Jewellery by Diana @ dizaTIARAS
                      My blog


                      • #12
                        Agree with all the advice here apart from the advice re plane ticket. as generous as the offer is, the underlying cost implications for you taking such a trip should be taking precedance on the decision making process and it should be politley declined.
                        Pat Murphy



                        • #13
                          Thank you all so much for all the advice and the pep talks - it really helped.

                          Unbelievably, I woke up this morning and promptly got a phone call from an agency offering me a temporary job starting next Monday which, if they like me and I like them, may eventually become permanent. I then got another phone call from another agency asking me various questions about a job they have which may be suitable for me.

                          Following on from that, two emails popped into my inbox within minutes of each other with two companies asking me to contact them with regards to jobs I had applied for!

                          I couldn't believe it - after 7 weeks of trying and trying suddenly four different things have suddenly presented themselves and even if none of them actually come to anything substantial, at least it means my efforts haven't been completely in vain.

                          Together with another crafter, we have also applied for a stall at one of our local markets and are waiting to see whether they will have us so am keeping my fingers crossed for that.

                          Finally, eldest brother has smoothed things over with my other siblings re my going to Canada.

                          Pat - I agree somewhat with what you are saying, but the trip isn't going to cost me a penny as my brother is refusing to let me pay anything either before or during my trip and all the people I spoke to with regards to jobs today are aware I will be away for 10 days in May and confirmed it wouldn't impact on their offering me a job if my interview(s) went well.

                          So, all in all, a much better day and hopefully things will continue to go onwards and upwards from here on in - I'll keep you all posted.
                          Laura x


                          email:- [email protected]




                          • #14
                            So pleased things are on the move for you. Good luck with all your interviews.
                            God helps them that help themselves.


                            • #15
                              Am really glad that things are turning for the better.......Keep your chin up and remember we're all here for you if you need us!
                              S x
                              Sarah x

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