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  • random but thought provoking question

    Is it really possible to love someone if you don't love yourself?

    Would love to hear your thoughts on this!

    Claire

  • #2
    There are different types of love, emotional, deliberate acts of love, as well as the more stable on going love that we think of in relationships so I'd say yes. I can see where you are coming from though. Mind you you can have an unhealthy self love as wel that borders on arrogance, and that can in itself inhibit love for others as well.

    Pete
    "Where the spirit does not work with the hand, there is no art" ... Leonardo Da Vinci
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    • #3
      Originally posted by bodrighy View Post
      There are different types of love, emotional, deliberate acts of love, as well as the more stable on going love that we think of in relationships so I'd say yes. I can see where you are coming from though. Mind you you can have an unhealthy self love as wel that borders on arrogance, and that can in itself inhibit love for others as well.

      Pete
      What he said ^^^^^^^^^
      Sarah x

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      • #4
        Yes I think you can. If you don't love yourself you may project all your love onto the other person so it becomes stifiling. Your 'unworthyness' being over compensated for in the love and adoration of the other person, not a healthy situtation to be in. As Pete said though there are so many different kinds of love, parental, sibling, friend, lover etc etc. If though someone is totally devoid of any sort of love for themselves, is that because they have never experienced love and therefore do not recognise it, in which case loving someone else would be difficult.

        Think I will stop there, I can feel a bout of verbal diorhhea coming on. LOL

        Mo.XX
        Mo. Bodrighy Wood.
        Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage..Lao Tzu.
        www.bodrighy.co.uk
        https://twitter.com/#!/AuntieMornie

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        • #5
          lol Mo I am renowned for verbal diarrhoea!

          I'm just going through some 'stuff' along these lines which I won't bore you all with. I think it's affecting my ability to do things for my other half that I can't be bothered to do for myself.

          I understand what you mean though Pete, I wonder if having children changes your ideas about love.

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          • #6
            I think it is possible but that it would vary from person to person...for example it may be that there are just parts of yourself you do not love, or there may be an underlying reason for a person to feel that they don't love themselves that may have no affect on how they feel about other people...there are so many factors to be considered that I don't think there are any definite answers I'm afraid

            If you do feel like boring someone with your "stuff" I'd be more than happy to listen, send me a private message if you want, I've had more than enough issues myself and it really can help to talk sometimes...if you don't feel comfortable telling someone else have you tried writing it down? It sounds silly but it can be an effective way of sorting things out in your own head!!

            On a completely unrelated note I've just noticed you're in Milton Keynes too, it's nice to know there are some other crafters locally, most seem to be miles away!!
            Karly
            http://www.thesilvershack.co.uk
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            • #7
              aww thanks Karly, may just take you up on that good to know too that someone else is in MK, i'm not a massive crafter but i do dabble in quite a few different crafts

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              • #8
                I would never state that I love myself as that just sounds like I think I am bigheaded. I do love my husband, daughter and friends all in different ways. I think it would possibly be difficult to have any sorts of relationships (whether friendships or more) if you have low self esteem.
                View my flickr

                'I am sure it must hurt your eyes to work filigree by candlelight.' - Jane Austen

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                • #9
                  Hmmm wheres that couch? I am uncomforatbale with the concept of loving oneself as does that not smack of the narcissus complex?
                  My view is that one might not feel totally at ease/confident in ones own being but that should not stop loving some one else. Different matter I would have thought if someone has been emotionally scarred, then that person is not at ease and will find it difficult to love someone else. whichever form that is in.
                  Pat Murphy


                  http://www.gladturnings.co.uk
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