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  • Joke of the day

    RECTUM DEODORANT, POSSIBLY THE BEST BLONDE JOKE EVER!


    A blonde walks into a ******** and asks the assistant for some rectum
    deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they
    don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have.

    Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the
    stuff from this
    store on a regular basis and would like some more.

    "I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "We don't have any!"
    "But I always buy it here," says the blonde

    "Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist.

    "YES", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it." She returns with the
    container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to
    her,

    "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant"

    Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from
    the
    container.........


    >>> >


    >>> >


    >>> >


    >>> >


    >>> >





    "TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM."








    .


    Promote your craft site today : Add Your CRAFTS
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    Fun new blog: Snowboard Stuff

  • #2
    ROFLMAO ya just gotta laugh
    Caroline

    You don't need talent to be artistic you just need patience!

    www.potterdoodledoo.co.uk

    Comment


    • #3
      Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
      Visit my Etsy store http://swirlyarts.etsy.com
      My daily thoughts! http://swirlyarts.blogspot.com
      My blog of cute stuff http://cuteable.com


      Comment


      • #4
        Ow god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        hehe

        Lisa

        Bowed Over
        Handmade Dog Collar Accessories
        www.bowedover.co.uk

        Comment


        • #5
          Good one!!
          Anice xx
          Funkyhand x
          my website
          http://www.funkyhand.com
          my blog (updated 09/06/10)
          http://funkyhand.blogspot.com/
          Follow me on Twitter
          http://twitter.com/funkyhand

          Comment


          • #6
            Emma
            Luxury craft supplies & magnolia Stamps - Sassy Crafts
            Sassy Crafts Blog
            My Blog

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            • #7
              My kids have been getting good milage out of the haair spray one.... dare I share this one?
              full time mum and very very part time crafter.

              Comment


              • #8
                Lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                https://folksy.com/shops/GrimmExhibition


                http://poisonedapplecraftuk.blogspot.co.uk/

                Poisoned Apple Theatre - Handmade Crafts on Facebook

                Comment


                • #9
                  Very funny - I often wonder just where these jokes originate.... someone must be sitting there just thinking them up.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Cheered me up on an otherwise dull day at work!
                    View my flickr

                    'I am sure it must hurt your eyes to work filigree by candlelight.' - Jane Austen

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      A little something to giggle and ponder over for today!


                      Peter Kay's Theories....

                      1) I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ''Guess'' on it. I said,

                      Thyroid problem?

                      2) When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.

                      3) I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.

                      4) I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder.

                      5) Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said: ''Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me,'' and it worked! From then on it was sticks and stones all the way.

                      6) My Dad used to say ''always fight fire with fire,'' which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.

                      7) Sex is like a game of bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

                      8) I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said ''Are you going to help?'' I said ''No, Six should be enough.''

                      9) If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?


                      10) I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

                      11) You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.




                      Peter Kay's questions

                      1. Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?

                      2. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?

                      4. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your backside?


                      5. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, ''My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic''?

                      6. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

                      7. Why does mineral water that ''has trickled through mountains for centuries'' have a ''use by'' date?

                      8. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp that no one would eat?


                      9. Is ''French kissing'' in France just called ''kissing''?


                      10. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, ''I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?''

                      11. What do people in China call their good plates?

                      12. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

                      13. Why is a person that handles your money called a ''Broker''?

                      14. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?


                      15. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are "over a billion stars in the universe," you believe them, but if they tell you "watch out this is wet paint," you have to touch it to make sure?

                      16. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out of the window?


                      Peter Kay's Universal Truths
                      1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

                      2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

                      3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your
                      pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

                      4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.

                      5) Everyone who grew up in the 80''s has entered the digits 55378008
                      into a calculator.


                      (will wait until everyone goes and gets a calculator!)



                      6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.

                      7) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a
                      fire in your back garden.

                      8) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

                      9) You never know where to look when eating a banana.

                      10) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

                      11) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

                      12) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.

                      13) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

                      14) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

                      15) You never ever run out of salt.

                      16) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.

                      17) No one knows where the metal coat hangers in their cupboards were first obtained from, or has any memory of buying them.

                      18) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

                      19) the most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on An upturned plug.

                      20) People who don't drive, slam car doors too hard.

                      21) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.

                      Caroline

                      You don't need talent to be artistic you just need patience!

                      www.potterdoodledoo.co.uk

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Great for a wet n windy Thursday!
                        I'm reading his biography at the moment and its really giving me a giggle!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          A Woman's Perfect Breakfast...

                          She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
                          Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
                          Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
                          Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
                          And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.



                          (in the USA they put missing persons on the milk cartons!)


                          Jules
                          Apple Tree Crafts
                          www.appletreecraftfairs.com

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