Just got my wrist slapped there........

[Bowed Over]

Hi all,

Can you tell me what you think. I joined Candle Tech a candle making forum a month or two ago. I use it mainly for info because it is mainly Americans using it so a lot of the stuff doesn't apply to the UK.

However, I do talk to the UK candlemakers that are on the forum. We PM, e-mail and talk to each other on the phone.

I answered an e-mail from Yvette at Wick n Wax (a new member to this forum too) I went Hi Yvette, Blah, Blah, Blah (as I pretty much do with all my posts I think it is very impersonal if you know the persons name you are answering not to use it!). Well I got this f*** wit complaining that I had used the persons name and not their user name. Saying just because you have PM'd doesn't mean you know the person. Well I hadn't actually been on the forum for a couple of days so luckily enough one of us British Girls answered back saying that we actually knew each other and this was perfectly normal and acceptable.

What do you all think, do you find it offensive if someone uses your real name in a post!!

Well Peter you would have been proud of the reply that message got!!! I was very very polite but ended up with something like a "nit picking time waster".

[beadsbydesign]

In your case then I don't think that there was anything wrong in using the persons name, I think it's great that you all know each other. On most forums I go to, people use each others christian names. I have many clients around my forum circuits and Have also spoken to many of them.

I think sometimes forums can lead you into thinking that you do know the person. I frequently refer to "my friend" on this or that forum and feel that because we have shared highs and lows, that there is a bond.
Of course, i do not know the in's and out's of everyones life and only know the persona that the person wants you to see. it is easy to see how children can be groomed over the internet by paedophiles.

[Bowed Over]

Too true on that. Both my kids use the internet so I am always on my toes it is so easy to be duped into passing out personal information. For all that you put parental blocks on they are no good because the people targeting the kids are a whole lot more computer literate than me it seems.

I tell my kids never ever ever to give out their names, ages or addresses. Even if they are wanting to do something like Bebo or My Space I register with my info and make sure I have any passwords so I can do spot checks on them but also if someone is looking for kids my details will come up on any registration forms. But I still think the internet is a double bladed sword, it is great for information but also a very dangerous place if you are not careful. You always need to be watchful particularly where kids are involved.

Cheers.

Lisa

[Apple Tree Crafts]

How Annoying....

...Personally if I've signed a post with my name, then other people reading the thread have seen my name and they can use it if they like - it's not a secret. I then know that if they use my name in any post, then they mean me. I would never use my full name on a thread for security reasons, but a lot of people on here know it anyway.

Usually the Americans are very sociable people and I have been using the US chatroms for years and have some great online friends, but some of them are incredibly insular...the world stops at the American borders. I think you may have encountered one of the insular types who loves to 'slap' anyone who's not American.

Also, should I meet anyone from the forums or chatrooms I use, I wouldn't treat them any differently than I do online. I know some chatters in the rooms I use aren't all that they seem and are not to be trusted, but for the majority of people, what you read is what you get.

Online security has to be adhered to, but it shouldn't stand in the way of friendships and good manners. As with all things, it can go too far.

Jules

[0103media]

This is a very common problem accross all forums..

IMHO its best to keep to the names that people sign their post or the user name.. Why ?

Well people hate having their name and info on the net... I was shocked when I got a massive mention on a blog with my real name and location next to my aka..

I wouldn't worry about the slap on the wrists but in the future is good to look at the user name and sig..

Many people don't even put their sites in sig, I know many high profile seo that just have a aka..

Hope that helps.

[icecreamgirl]

I think if someone has used their real name in post then they are saying that it is ok for anyone else to use,
But you say lisa you didn't even do it in a post, it was in an email? Bit odd that anyone else saw it then? never mind moan about it.
(by the way, i've pm'd you this morning Lisa)

[Bowed Over]

I think if someone has used their real name in post then they are saying that it is ok for anyone else to use,
But you say lisa you didn't even do it in a post, it was in an email? Bit odd that anyone else saw it then? never mind moan about it.
(by the way, i've pm'd you this morning Lisa)

It was in a post I was answering her question. I have been talking to Yvette for ever, as there are so few candle makers in Britain you tend to always run into each other, we know each other through web forums (obviously), mutual suppliers you name it. Yvette always says Hi Lisa (which I don't mind because my name is my business name) don't want anyone using my surname though, but that is only common sense. I always say Hi to Yvette. We e-mail each other every day. We even arrange for suppliers to get stock in for us.

I can understand it is everybodys right to get addressed the way they wish, but I don't think it is someone elses right to dictate to others.

Sorry off I go again. It is such a silly thing to get worked out about. Never even noticed you'd PM'd - got my knickers in a twist about this.

Cheers.

Lisa

[Seahorse]

I think if the individual is ok with their real name being used then its fine, but Id prefer to stick to using the sig name.

Somebody used my real name on another forum(she knew as we'd been pm-ing each other) and I got an almighty shock! I thought 'OH NO!!Everybody is gona know exactly who I am and point and laugh at me about everything Ive revealed about myself on the forum!!!arggghhhh!!'.
But thats just me....and luckily it didnt happen.
If others are ok with it, then, fine.

[mjbelkin]

Personally, I'd rather you used my name than called me "Oi, Fatso", but that's just me.

[Peter]

This is exactly why I'm a member of a lot of forums................but only post on this one! Some forums end up like commitees - with members to match - there are people out there who need their fix of bullying, and it's so easy to do with virtual 'friends'! ................and no, I'm not a bully - just an arrogant misanthropist!

[Apple Tree Crafts]

Yeah....

Personally, I'd rather you used my name than called me "Oi, Fatso", but that's just me.

.....You just can't do that....shout 'Oi Fatso!' in here and I'd answer too......very confusing!

And, Peter...we love you anyway - nobody's perfect! The 'committee' bit was spot on.....very allegorical (sp), but true.....

Jules

[swirlyarts]

If people sign their posts with their name/sig name etc etc I just reply using what they have used. I don't mind if people call me Swirly, Lynsey or whatever - thats not an invitation Peter!! I, for example, know Seahorse's name but because she never uses it on the forum, I always call her Seahorse. I think your American friend was being a bit picky - it's up to individuals what they want to be know as.
There - thats my two penneth in!!

[purplerhian]

that just sounds weird to me, the power of forum moderation must have gpne to their heads...

[michelleC]

Some forums can be so petty grrrrrrrr
Take a deep breath and let them get on with it!!!!!!!

[Bowed Over]

Ow - I have opened a can of worms (or whoop ass as the good old US put it) on the other forum.

I replied opening with an apology didn't mean to offend and all that tosh and ended up by telling them to mind their own business. Well you ought to see what is happening. Yvette is doing her Cadbury's saying she has no problems with me using her name (who the thread was addressed to anyway), I have got someone from Tenessee backing me up saying I shouldn't be apologising it should be the tosser that decided to nit pick.

Because I ended my thread Lisa (and I don't mind if you use my name), I have got everyone ending with their posts with their names and saying yep you can use mine too!!!

It is a joke when poor Maddy is missing in Portugal and you have a tosser who has something like this to worry about!!!