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  • Important Questions

    IMPORTANT QUESTIONS:

    Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are
    getting weak?

    Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but
    check when you say the paint is wet?

    Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

    Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a
    revolver at him?

    Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

    Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

    If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

    Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
    always white?

    Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

    Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
    something new to eat will have materialized?

    Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum
    cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give
    the vacuum one more chance?

    Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

    How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

    Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off
    the table you always manage to knock something else over?

    In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when
    we complained about the heat?

    And my FAVORITE......
    The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
    suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends
    – if they're okay, then it's you.



    I Love My Computer Because My Friends Live In It

  • #2
    ......

    PMSL......I love stuff like that.

    I used to have a list of rules for pilots that was hysterical...things like

    'Try to keep the number of take-off's equal to the number of landings....'

    Jules
    Apple Tree Crafts
    www.appletreecraftfairs.com

    Comment


    • #3
      Haha awesome love it! I so do that with the vacuum!
      eat, sleep, breathe, STITCH!
      www.buttonberry.com
      www.buttonberry.co.uk

      Blog-tastic
      buttonberry.typepad.com

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      • #4
        Me too - why I don't just put the thread in the bin while I've got it in my hands I don't know!
        Visit my Etsy store http://swirlyarts.etsy.com
        My daily thoughts! http://swirlyarts.blogspot.com
        My blog of cute stuff http://cuteable.com


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        • #5
          And the fridge - I do that too - hoping something will be in there you fancy eating!! hehe.

          Lisa
          Bowed Over
          Handmade Dog Collar Accessories
          www.bowedover.co.uk

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Apple Tree Crafts View Post
            PMSL......I love stuff like that.

            I used to have a list of rules for pilots that was hysterical...things like

            'Try to keep the number of take-off's equal to the number of landings....'

            Jules
            Was it something like this?

            Rules for Pilots

            Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.

            The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you.

            Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky.

            If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and, therefore, unsafe.

            When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.

            Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.

            Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day.

            The three most common expressions (aka famous last words) in aviation are: "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?", and "Uh oh."

            Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

            The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

            The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating

            When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.

            A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.

            Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

            Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction.

            Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.

            There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

            Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.

            If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.

            It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.
            Heather
            Pretty Things Handmade Jewellery

            Website - www.prettythingsjewellery.co.uk


            Destash bead and papercrafting shop - http://www.misi.co.uk/handmade/BlackCatBeads.html

            New blog - www.prettythingsandwitterings.blogspot.com

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            • #7
              Brilliant!...

              ...That's the ones! Love em!

              Jules
              Apple Tree Crafts
              www.appletreecraftfairs.com

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