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Funny for a Wednesday (men don't be offended!)

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  • Funny for a Wednesday (men don't be offended!)

    One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his SweatShirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
    'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
    He yelled back, ' Liverpool .'
    And they say blondes are dumb...
    -----------------------------------------------------------
    A couple are lying in bed. The man says,'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.' The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
    -----------------------------------------------------------
    'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
    'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
    -----------------------------------------------------------
    Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
    A: A rumuor
    -----------------------------------------------------------
    A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
    Gotta love that fairy!
    -----------------------------------------------------------
    Dear Lord,
    I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
    ------------ -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Q: Why do little boys whine?
    A: They are practicing to be men.
    -----------------------------------------------------------
    Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
    A: Trustworthy
    -----------------------------------------------------------
    Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
    A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
    -----------------------------------------------------------
    Q: How do you keep your man from reading your e-mail?
    A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manuals'
    View my flickr

    'I am sure it must hurt your eyes to work filigree by candlelight.' - Jane Austen

  • #2
    Thanks for sharing

    I love the last one about emails (must remember that

    Jane
    www.just-soaps.com
    Twitter JUSTSOAPS
    FB www.facebook.com/pages/Just-Soaps/258910018463
    Natural Handmade Olive Oil Soaps and Skincare free from SLS, Parabens, and other Nasties

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    • #3
      lol all very funny

      loved the "prayer"
      Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes CAN change your life !!

      my website http://www.ticketyboo-jewellery.co.uk
      my misi shop http://ticketyboo.misi.me.uk
      my blog http://ticketyboojewellery.blogspot.com/



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      • #4
        I love the washing instructions...
        Sarah

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        • #5
          LOL - some good one's there!
          "Human beings, who are almost remarkable in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so" - Douglas Adams


          Website: www.janscardsandcrafts.co.uk
          Blog: http://janscardscraftsandmusings.blogspot.com/
          Twitter: http://twitter.com/JanJackman
          Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?...6759167?ref=nf

          Independent Stampin' Up! Demonstrator

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          • #6
            Well done Indri, love them all, and so true!!!!!
            Diane
            Reach for the moon-if you miss-you'll still be amongst stars




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            • #7
              Lol... very good!!

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              • #8
                I'll get my coat.
                Wood Tattoos
                Decorative Pyrography for all Occasions - Author of "Woodburning with Style" (2010) and "Learn to Burn" (2013)
                Facebook
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                • #9
                  Excellent but Wood Tattoo made me laugh even more!!!!! Sue xx
                  http://susieQinblogland.blogspot.com

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                  • #10
                    Brilliant, just what I needed

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by woodtattoos View Post
                      I'll get my coat.

                      At least you've been warned - if you want a younger wife then the fairy will make you older!
                      View my flickr

                      'I am sure it must hurt your eyes to work filigree by candlelight.' - Jane Austen

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by indri View Post
                        At least you've been warned - if you want a younger wife then the fairy will make you older!
                        Ive got one, and I get younger by the day

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by urbtaf View Post
                          . . . . . and I get younger by the day
                          I could argue that point but wouldn't want to embarrass you hun.
                          Auntynet

                          Step-daughter's website selling hand dyed sock yarns www.knotanotherknitter.com




                          ~ * ~ * ~ Of all the things I've ever lost, I miss my mind the most! ~ * ~ * ~

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                          • #14
                            ................where's the smilie with a bucket when you need one?







                            ps. Nina said I could put that.



                            pps. She didn't really.

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