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  • Annoyed and blue

    My hubby (aka Scrooge) were talking last night about presents that other people have bought our boys. Scrooge then pointed out that he thinks that we should buy one expensive gift rather than a couple of smaller gifts to the same value. He then asked me what I had bought for our boys ( as I am the one who knows what they like etc) I told him and he said 'could we not give th gifts to them for special treats or birthday presents instead of Christmas. I have probaly spent £50 on each child, gifts including a set of plastic pans, some play food,felt tip pens, craft paper, glue. adhesive stars etc. Tomorrow I will be returning some presents to the Early Learning Centre because he thinks they will get too much.

    I am so vexed you have no idea. This is the man who never buys his children or me any gifts. I have to make my own birthday cake and light the candles AND fill my own Christmas stocking!

    Sorry about the long message, but I am so annoyed and unhappy that I am having to return presents tomorrow.

    Is anyone else married to a man called E Scrooge?????
    Sharon





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  • #2
    I am so sorry, mine is the opposite and really thinks things through, I have never been disappointed with his surprises, the wrapping is a bit naf but hey what is inside is the best bit.

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    • #3
      I'm happy to say that DH is exactly the opposite and loves Christmas! He even wants to go to the Midnight Mass this year and he can't sing to save his life. Fifty pounds doesn't sound excessive in this day and age, I know people who have spent literally hundreds on each child they have - that's excessive IMO.
      Gail x

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      • #4
        I presume that as he didn't know about them he never contributed towards them. Tell him it's OK as you have ecconomised on his present so you could afford them.
        I am so sorry, it makes it difficult all round doesn't it.
        Carol
        God helps them that help themselves.

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        • #5
          I'm probably speaking out of turn here but IMO - if he wants to be a misery guts about christmas then that's his perrogative . . . . .

          BUT THERE IS NO WAY ON THIS EARTH THAT I WOULD LET HIM TRANSFER HIS FEELINGS ONTO ME OR THE KIDS!!!!!

          Christmas is a magical time for children and giving them surprise gifts and seeing their little faces when Santa has been is what makes it magical. It sounds like your children are still quite young and so you don't have to spend £100's to put a smile on their face. £50 each is not a lot in this day and age and it sounds like you've been very sensible by sticking to your budget so well done for that. What if you were one of those mums that spend like there is no tomorrow and get into debt to give them the earth?

          Whilst I do appreciate that he is your husband and you do have to live together, if it were me in that situation then I would stick to my guns and suffer the consequences - if you give in to him now, how far will he push you in years to come.

          I really do apologise if I upset you, or indeed anyone else with my opinion but it is something I feel quite strongly about. I am not telling you what to do - only stating what I would do . . . and did, many years ago.

          I have been there - I only had one child to buy for but my son's father was/is an alcoholic so he couldn't/wouldn't understand why I wanted to "waste all that money on him when he's too young to understand what christmas is". We parted company shortly after my son's first christmas!

          Whatever you decide to do - I wish you well and I'm sure that your kids will have a wonderful christmas with a mum that clearly loves them and wants to give them the earth.
          Auntynet

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          • #6
            oh cripes - that's not a very christmassy view is it?

            Maybe he has money worries or is just feeling the credit crunch? He may be just trying to plan ahead and save some money for the new year.

            But if it's none of those things, then grrr! Unless it's for very good financial reasons, I don't think you should take any presents back. Calmly explain to him that you love to spoil your children, and if you can't buy them lots of presents when they are little, when can you? Tell him that present buying is your job, and he'll have to get on board with how you want to do it.

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            • #7
              (((HUGS))) sending some for you hun!

              I too have a hub that gripes the whole time in the rub up to the big day but I think when he was growing up thats what his parents did but he will spend on the kids everyone else can go jump in his books LOL
              As for buying for me I have to make a list and hope I get at least 1 thing from it, he like to surprise me bless but I never like what he choses LOL

              If you can tell him to lump it and have a mince pie
              Ger xx

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              • #8
                Originally posted by auntynet View Post
                I'm probably speaking out of turn here but IMO - if he wants to be a misery guts about christmas then that's his perrogative . . . . .

                BUT THERE IS NO WAY ON THIS EARTH THAT I WOULD LET HIM TRANSFER HIS FEELINGS ONTO ME OR THE KIDS!!!!!

                Christmas is a magical time for children and giving them surprise gifts and seeing their little faces when Santa has been is what makes it magical. It sounds like your children are still quite young and so you don't have to spend £100's to put a smile on their face. £50 each is not a lot in this day and age and it sounds like you've been very sensible by sticking to your budget so well done for that. What if you were one of those mums that spend like there is no tomorrow and get into debt to give them the earth?

                Whilst I do appreciate that he is your husband and you do have to live together, if it were me in that situation then I would stick to my guns and suffer the consequences - if you give in to him now, how far will he push you in years to come.

                I really do apologise if I upset you, or indeed anyone else with my opinion but it is something I feel quite strongly about. I am not telling you what to do - only stating what I would do . . . and did, many years ago.

                I have been there - I only had one child to buy for but my son's father was/is an alcoholic so he couldn't/wouldn't understand why I wanted to "waste all that money on him when he's too young to understand what christmas is". We parted company shortly after my son's first christmas!

                Whatever you decide to do - I wish you well and I'm sure that your kids will have a wonderful christmas with a mum that clearly loves them and wants to give them the earth.
                I totally agree with every word of this... if you can't spoil your own children at Christmas then when can you and £50 on each child doesn't sound excessive and it sounds like they'll have lots of fun with what you have chosen for them.

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                • #9
                  My kids are no longer little ,my youngest is 16 now and my eldest 21 ..luckily they don't want or expect expensive presents and I have always had a budget of £50 for each child ( still works out expensive with 5,lol)
                  When they were little I did like you did Sillyoldbear, I bought them lots of smaller presents rather than one big one, it made Christmas day more exciting for them from the start ,coming down and seeing all the presents Santa had left. Their faces on Christmas mornings will be one of my many treasured memories.
                  Children grow up really quickly and while it seems they will be little forever they arn't , before you know it they are all grown up and the magic of Christmas has gone for them.
                  I would calmly explain that while you don't wish to spoil them or cause ructions you would like to keep the magic of Christmas for the children sakes as long as you can
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                  • #10
                    Little ones love all the unwrapping of pressies and don't really have a clue of the value so you can buy lots of cheap stuff and wrap it all up individually. I always wrapped up stuff that he would need to have anyway -socks, pj's, dressing gown tops etc to bulk up the pile. This year at 12 he's being very shrewd and waiting til prices come down after Xmas so he gets more!
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                    • #11
                      I agree that lots of parcels are more fun for young 'uns (having said that Child at 29 still looks forwards to her Christmas stocking alongside her main present!)

                      Do you buy the scrooge anything??
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                      • #12
                        i do feel for you, my husband has been moaning about how much i spend on my children for 29 years, it has never stopped me because at this time of year it just gives me so much pleasure. and now i have two little grandsons i love to buy presents for (i`m like a pig in mud)

                        if you can afford it, it`s only once a year go for it.
                        tell him to read this thread!

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                        • #13
                          I wouldn't take them back either.

                          Young children get so much enjoyment from opening lots of little presents than just one big present cos the cost of the present means nothing to them when they're so young so it wouldn't matter to them if that one present was a pack of felt pens or a playhouse, it's the joy of watching them come downstairs and look for that PILE of presents on Christmas day that is so wonderful.

                          When mine was young, I did the same as you - lots of inexpensive presents like little pack of plastic toy soldiers, chocolate money coins, a book etc all wrapped separately.

                          Apparently, it meant that you'd been on Santa's REALLY Good List if you got lots of presents (or so I got told, every year as the wrapping paper flew into the air )

                          Do what you think will make your children happiest cos in the end, that's who the day is for really

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                          • #14
                            I really sympathise with you. My previous partner was terrible over christmas, he disagreeed with the amount I spent on the children .

                            My husband fully supports wat we spend on our kids, and although we don't go overboard, it is still quite a lot of money (for us anyway!). However, this buys them clothes, one bigger present and a couple of wee ones. I still buy some smaller items so it looks like they have more presents. We do not buy our children anything else all year though. They get items they need (like school uniform) but they don't get any other toys or games unless it is their birthday. We also don't go abroad, we have a camping holiday during the summer instead. We both feel that christmas is a time for children and the look on their face makes it all worthwhile. We don't get into debt, and we try to make sure that they get some items they can actually use (arts & crafts, pencil cases etc)

                            I am sure most adults do not remember what they were bought as children - only a few christmas presents I recieved as a child still stick out in my mind. However, christmas comes but once a year, you are definitely not spending an excessive amount, I truly think he is over reacting a little.
                            If it was me, I wouldn't take them back. You haven't spent masses on them, you have stayed within your budget and you haven't bought them silly toys that won't last either. Stick to your guns and explain that while you listened to what he said, and took it into account, you feel that christmas time is about children and you cannot wait to see the look on your childs face.
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                            • #15
                              Well folks, there are some very wise comments and views to think about in your replies. Thank you.

                              I have however taken two of the more expensive items back because after thinking about what he said he IS right. They do get a lot of pressies from other people. So what I have done is taken back the more boring gifts and kept the ones that I think will be more fun for the boys (Tom 2 and Sam 5) ie yoyos, little wind-up robots, jumping beans etc etc.

                              I have just spoken to my hubby (he's in London) to let him know that our eldest child doesn't have any presents now (except the ones mentioned above) and guess what he said, he's going to go to Hamleys and buy Sam's presents. What is going on??????

                              What is a girl to do??

                              Anyway, I do feel like a load has been lifted off my shoulders since returning the presents this morning. I might go and buy a couple of little gifts tomorrow as I now havea £50 giftcard for Mothercare/Early Learning Centre.

                              Thank you all for helping lift the stress off my shoulders. It's good to vent!!!
                              Sharon





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