Feeling let down - a bit of a whinge

[Autumn Faerie]

My other love besides crafting is Amateur Dramatics and I joined a new group in July having had a break for over a year from it.

The play was over the weekend and a few weeks ago I sent an email out to my friends to let them know I was once again on the stage and gave them details if they wanted to come along.

A few replied and said they couldn't come for one reason or another - fair enough.

One said she might, but didn't make any promises, and sure enough didn't come, but she's like that and I didn't really expect her to come.

Some didn't even reply to my email at all, which I think is off, although another friend said they were planning a trip and I thought maybe they were going to surprise me - but no, they didn't turn up at all.

And then finally one of my closer friends said all along how much she wanted to come, couldn't wait to see me etc, etc and then last Weds (opening night Thursday) she sent an email that said she couldn't come as her hubby was away (has young son, no mention of why she couldn't get a babysitter tho) and that was that. No call, nothing since, like a good luck on the night, break a leg, just a two-line email. I kept thinking it was a ruse to come along & surprise me with the rest of the group as I just couldn't believe she'd do that. But no.

Maybe I'm being oversensitive, but I'm really hurt by her actions and by the fact that no-one came along either, so much for friendship!

To be honest I'm torn as to whether to send out an email telling them all what I think (but I'm sure I'll regret it later) or just to let it go, but that's not so easy, I really do feel betrayed. i won't be inviting any of them again that's for sure!

Anyway, please excuse the whinge, but just wanted to get it off my chest!

[Pagan]

aw that's a shame none of them could make it, but life has a way of taking over and maybe they didn't realise how important it was to you that they (or at least some of them) showed up. I wouldn't take it too much to heart - hard I know, but I think if you sent them an angry email just now, you'd really regret it later. maybe you could have a quiet word with them later and tell them how let down you felt.

More importantly............how did the play go and did you have a great time?

[Caroleecrafts]

Don't send an email, wait and leave it I have been known to jump in and then regret it later have now learned to let sleeping dogs and all that. If they want to contact you agin they will just carry on as normal.

That aside how did the play go?

[BeadsbyLili]

I can understand you being hurt by their no-show but I reckon you'll regret sending an angry email. I dont think people always realise how much something like this can mean - especially if its not something they are in to. Maybe they will come another time. Really, the main thing about all this is: did you enjoy doing it again after so long?!

[Autumn Faerie]

Thank you all, it does help having an "outside" view & yes I think you're all right, I will regret it if I sound off about it now.

The play went fantastically well, which is part of the problem as it's the biggest role I've had and it went so well and I had some lovely comments that I guess I wanted to share it with my friends. My family came & they loved it & I loved doing it, which is the most important thing.

Thanks again for your replies xxxx

[GreenPlover]

Everyone just seems to be so busy these days. It is frustrating for you, I have been in a similar situation, and I took it very personally. Please don't go and email them now while you are very raw about it all. I can only hope they just did not know how much it meant to you, for you to have had them there.

I would tell them at some point though, that you were upset about it, they are your friends and need to know your feelings.

I went to a mates house on Saturday - she had a big night planned for a lot of us and one by one they dropped out or just did not show,she was very upset as she had turned the house upside down in anticipation. Your show would have meant a lot more to you than that, so please don't think I am belittling your night.

Oh and my similar experience - My wedding. No mates showed at all, it was family only for the day and then there leur of the local night club they had to pass, to get to the venue, was too strong. I still feel heartbroken.

[Autumn Faerie]

Thank you, no I don't think you're belittling me at all, it is gutting when people don't show up especially when you've prepared food, or got your house all smartened up.

I guess it's hard not to take these things personally but I do know what it's like and how busy people are - it just hurt at the time and still does, but I'll get over it I'm sure

Thanks again
x

[Peter]

Take a leaf out of my book............................alienate all your friends, then at least you know where you stand!

[Autumn Faerie]

Take a leaf out of my book............................alienate all your friends, then at least you know where you stand!

LOL thanks for those words of wisdom

[Chris W]

Friends

This thread made me think about something that bothers me sometimes and I don't know the answer to it. When I opened my shop a few years ago I invited all my friends to an opening party and most of them didn't come. I am still friends with them but often wonder why they don't ever visit the shop as many of my regular customers and new friends go out of their way to. I haven't ever mentioned it to them as they might think I am pitching to them. So perhaps this is quite common, anyway I wouldn't let it bother you just so long as you enjoy their friendship anyway.

[auntynet]

Autumn - I totally agree with what everyone else has said about not sending an email whilst you are still upset. You would definitely regret it. But I wouldn't let them off the hook either - I'd have to have a dig at some time in the future just to let them know how you felt at the time. If your friendships are strong enough then they will take on board what you say.

Anyway, don't let that experience put you off. You sound like you had a wonderful time so let them all know what they missed and tell them that you'll forgive them this once but you expect them to be there to support you next time.

Oh and my similar experience - My wedding. No mates showed at all, it was family only for the day and then there leur of the local night club they had to pass, to get to the venue, was too strong. I still feel heartbroken.

That must have been awful! At least at my wedding everyone turned up for the free food and then went to the nightclub after.

Take a leaf out of my book............................alienate all your friends, then at least you know where you stand!

Peter - you are so much like my OH. He was adopted at birth . . . . hmmmmmm - I wonder?? . . . .

I haven't ever mentioned it to them as they might think I am pitching to them.

Chris - why not invite them to pop round to the shop for a coffee and a chat whenever they're in the area. I love it when people drop by the stall for a chat.

[janetdc]

How disappointing for you.Personally I try to support friends in all they do. I have watched several friends in am dram at various times and been to see a friend's son who was in a local production and enjoyed the experience. It isn't about how good or otherwise the production will be it is just to show I care about what goes on in their lives. My advice for what its worth is not to fall out over it but do let them know how well it went and that you think they missed a good evening's entertainment. Don't let it put you off inviting them to future productions.

[Autumn Faerie]

Thanks everyone for your replies & advice.

Yes, on reflection, I don't want to fall out over it, but will let them know when I can do so without getting upset or cross about it.

Had a fab write up in our local paper (and I got a special mention -oooh get me) so I may send them a copy of that, and you never know they may feel a bit guilty when they all realise that none of them came!

[Critchley]

Just read this thread all the way through and whilst doing so I was thinking "I wonder if a local paper reviewed it". I am so pleased you got a special mention - you now know that you can do anything with or without the support of your friends. I feel sorry for them, they obviously missed a good night out. lol.

[craftdancer]

Just read this thread all the way through and whilst doing so I was thinking "I wonder if a local paper reviewed it". I am so pleased you got a special mention - you now know that you can do anything with or without the support of your friends. I feel sorry for them, they obviously missed a good night out. lol.

Me too. And I was thinking that perhaps if you could find a good review you could send a copy and say how wonderful the evening was, what a great time you had, how much the audience liked it and even the critics thought it was good. And leave it at that.

If they decide they want to come in future tell them you'll be pleased to see them there, but they'll have to get their own tickets (sorry, that's my nasty streak showing!)

Linda