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The "rookie" priest

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  • The "rookie" priest

    A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
    After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done it.
    The monsignor replied,''When i am worried about getting nervous at the pulpit, i put glass of vodka next to the water glass.If i start to get nervous i take a sip.
    So next sunday he to the monsignor's advice.
    He proceeded to talk up a storm.
    Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door.

    1] Sip the vodka dont gulp
    2] There are ten commandments not twelve
    3] There are twelve desciples not not ten
    4] jesus was consecrated not constipated
    5] Jacob wagered his donkey he didn't bet his ass
    6] We do not refer to jesus christ as the late JC
    7] The father,son and holy ghost are not referred to as Daddy,junior and the spook
    8] David slew goliath he didn't kick the sh*t out of him
    9] When david was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey,dont say he was stoned off his ass
    10] We do not refer to the cross as the big T
    11] When jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said ,''take this and eat it for it is my body.H e did not say eat me
    12] The virgin mary is not called mary with the cherry
    13] The recommeneded grace before a meal is not Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub,Yeah God
    14] Next sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St Peters,not a Peter pulling contest at St Taffys.

    Step-daughter's website selling hand dyed sock yarns

    ~ * ~ * ~ Of all the things I've ever lost, I miss my mind the most! ~ * ~ * ~

  • #2
    I like the rub a dub, thanks for the grub, gonna use that one!

    Not that I have been asked recently to say grace


    • #3


      • #4
        Very funny.

        I'd go to church more often if mass was like this!!!


        • #5
          He he he he, excellent