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Dogs v Cats

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  • Dogs v Cats

    EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY



    Day number 180


    8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
    9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
    9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
    10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
    11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
    12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
    1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
    4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
    5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
    5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!



    Day number 181


    8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
    9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
    9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
    10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
    11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
    12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
    1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
    4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
    5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
    5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!



    Day number 182


    8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
    8:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
    9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
    10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
    11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
    12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
    1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
    1:30 pm - boohoo. bath. bummer.
    4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
    5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
    5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!




    EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY



    DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.



    DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair...must try this on their bed.



    DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about
    what a good little cat I was .....Hmmm. Not working according to plan.



    DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck
    between my teeth.



    DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odour of the glass tubes they call "beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.



    DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his
    safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
    http://virtuetovictory.webs.com
    http://virtuetovictory.misi.co.uk
    http://womenofww2.webs.com

  • #2
    ROFL.

    that made me choke on my coffee.....very funny !
    Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes CAN change your life !!

    my website http://www.ticketyboo-jewellery.co.uk
    my misi shop http://ticketyboo.misi.me.uk
    my blog http://ticketyboojewellery.blogspot.com/



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    • #3
      hee hee!




      Last edited by 0103media; 12-09-2008, 02:51 PM.
      MISI - http://www.misi.me.uk/store_info.php?user_id=741

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      • #4
        Loving the cats diary!!
        View my flickr

        'I am sure it must hurt your eyes to work filigree by candlelight.' - Jane Austen

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        • #5
          funny...


          www.folksy.com/shops/sandrute

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          • #6
            Excellent!

            Si.
            Wood Tattoos
            Decorative Pyrography for all Occasions - Author of "Woodburning with Style" (2010) and "Learn to Burn" (2013)
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            • #7
              Really enjoyed this one - its soooooo true that cats seem to be far more sly than dogs.
              Auntynet

              Step-daughter's website selling hand dyed sock yarns www.knotanotherknitter.com




              ~ * ~ * ~ Of all the things I've ever lost, I miss my mind the most! ~ * ~ * ~

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              • #8
                this is brilliant, just sent it worldwide.
                My blog http://setters-delight.blogspot.com

                Folksy http://www.justgifts.folksy.com

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                • #9
                  Spilled coffee on my keyboard. You really put people at risk, hahahahah

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                  • #10
                    Heehee

                    Cats rule, so do dogs, you just can't have one with out the other
                    Custard

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                    • #11
                      Brilliant


                      Folksy shop http://www.folksy.com/shops/Fairyweb

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                      • #12
                        My cat says "yeah funnee, I don't think" and the dog well he's got that usual blank look on his face!! Me, I think it's hilarious!
                        www.littlebead.blogspot.com
                        www.twitter.com/littlebead

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