Ads

Collapse

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

How to give a cat a pill - useful instructions

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • How to give a cat a pill - useful instructions

    HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILL

    1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

    2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

    3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

    4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

    5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

    6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore loud growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.

    7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

    8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw. Force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

    9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

    10. Retrieve cat from neighbour’s shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

    11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

    12. Ring fire brigade to retrieve the cat from tree across the road. Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

    13. Tie the little evil toad’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash it down.

    14. Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

    15. Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and ring local petshop to see if they have any hamsters.
    Last edited by indri; 12-09-2008, 09:05 AM.
    View my flickr

    'I am sure it must hurt your eyes to work filigree by candlelight.' - Jane Austen

  • #2
    Love it as a person who shares a house with a cat (no one owns a cat they own themselves ) I can as I have had the pleasure of trying to give the cat a pill
    My hats can be seen in my album

    Comment


    • #3
      I think that pretty much sums it up!!!

      It's a very similar process to put a cat into a travel basket, or wash it if it's got covered in oil (as our cat does regularly)

      Claire
      Website; www.midshiresmakers.co.uk
      Facebook Pages: www.facebook.com/weedoncraftmarket
      www.facebook.com/craftshoppingexperience

      Comment


      • #4
        My grandma used to push her dogs pills inside half of one of those mini sized milkways, it never even touched the sides of his mouth, and he was none the wiser. It was so funny to watch!
        MISI - http://www.misi.me.uk/store_info.php?user_id=741

        Comment


        • #5
          Excellent, I loved that!

          Si.
          Wood Tattoos
          Decorative Pyrography for all Occasions - Author of "Woodburning with Style" (2010) and "Learn to Burn" (2013)
          Facebook
          Flickr
          Twitter

          Comment


          • #6
            It's funny because it's sooo true LOL!!!

            My cat Ozric can do all this and more.............and he only has three legs!!



            Love him to bits though

            J x
            To see our handmade bath and beauty productcs, all made with fair trade organic oils and butters, please click the link to our Etsy shop below:
            http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5184519

            Love & Bubbles
            Jode
            x

            Comment


            • #7
              Thing is I'm not sure that number 15 should involve hamsters - I've heard that they have a nasty bite and seem to quite enjoy biting!
              View my flickr

              'I am sure it must hurt your eyes to work filigree by candlelight.' - Jane Austen

              Comment


              • #8
                Oh how true is that ..............I'm crying laughing here
                www.corrigancards.com


                A mind is like a parachute........it only functions when open

                Comment


                • #9
                  Absolutely crying with laughter!! Its just soooo true! Selina

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    D'ya reckon it'll work for dogs too?
                    Auntynet

                    Step-daughter's website selling hand dyed sock yarns www.knotanotherknitter.com




                    ~ * ~ * ~ Of all the things I've ever lost, I miss my mind the most! ~ * ~ * ~

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      i don't know why you had soooo much trouble i worked at a vets for 4 years and had 2 cats of my own so pill popping is second nature .....
                      1. get the cat in a good grip by the scruff of the neck (if the cat dosen't struggle it won't hurt)
                      2. tell the cat that you are going to give him a pill ( and when he meows in protest shove the pill down his throat)
                      3. hold his mouth closed until he swallows (could take a few minutes )
                      this might seem a bit harse but usually works and saves 3 - 4 hours of cat fighting around the room and a nice slice of ham usually restores the piece
                      while i knit i think

                      http://foxyscraftythoughts.blogspot.com

                      http://thecraftyfox.misi.me.uk

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Very, very funny

                        I usually do the wrap-em-up-in-a-towel technique but that only works for eye-drops....hhhmmmmm, pills I usually avoid

                        Vets make it look so easy! I got the sexy australian vet to give me "hands on" tuition last visit.....hhhhmmmmm again

                        Shaz x
                        Keepsake Kollections
                        & Rossendale Ramblings!
                        http://focusonlife-shaz.blogspot.com

                        Where else can you get Mental and Retail Therapy?!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by auntynet View Post
                          D'ya reckon it'll work for dogs too?
                          No, the guide for giving a pill to a dog is like this:

                          1. Put pill in food and give to dog.

                          2. Watch dog swallow the combination without it even touching the sides.

                          3. Drink beer.
                          Wood Tattoos
                          Decorative Pyrography for all Occasions - Author of "Woodburning with Style" (2010) and "Learn to Burn" (2013)
                          Facebook
                          Flickr
                          Twitter

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Focus on Life View Post
                            Vets make it look so easy! I got the sexy australian vet to give me "hands on" tuition last visit.....hhhhmmmmm again
                            That was "hands on" the cat, obviously?

                            Si.
                            Wood Tattoos
                            Decorative Pyrography for all Occasions - Author of "Woodburning with Style" (2010) and "Learn to Burn" (2013)
                            Facebook
                            Flickr
                            Twitter

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by woodtattoos View Post
                              That was "hands on" the cat, obviously?

                              Si.
                              hhhhmmmmmm, thats all I'm saying
                              Keepsake Kollections
                              & Rossendale Ramblings!
                              http://focusonlife-shaz.blogspot.com

                              Where else can you get Mental and Retail Therapy?!

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X