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Enjoy these puns.

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  • Enjoy these puns.

    1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

    2. A jumper cable, walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'I'll serve you, but don't start anything.'

    3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

    4. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says 'A beer please, and one for the road.'[/font]

    5. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: 'Does this taste funny to you?'

    6. 'Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.' 'That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.' 'Is it common?' 'Well, It's Not Unusual.'

    7. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

    8. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.

    9. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!' The doctor replied, 'I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!'

    10. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

    11. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

    12. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'

    13. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank ...proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

    14. At Christmas time, group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse. 'But why,' they asked, as they moved off. 'Because,' he said, 'I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.'

    15. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Spain & is named 'Juan'. The other goes to a family in Egypt , and is named 'Ehmal.' Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ehmal. Her husband responds, 'They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ehmal.'

    16. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him..... (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) ..... A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

    17. And finally, there was the person who sent seventeen different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least a couple of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
    Last edited by indri; 02-09-2008, 04:34 PM.
    View my flickr

    'I am sure it must hurt your eyes to work filigree by candlelight.' - Jane Austen

  • #2
    Ow groan!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I liked the chestnuts one though.

    Hehe

    Lisa

    Bowed Over
    Handmade Dog Collar Accessories
    www.bowedover.co.uk

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    • #3
      The "fsh" joke always makes me laugh and - to my shame - I actually laughed at the Mahatma Ghandi joke.

      Thanks for sharing with us.
      Auntynet

      Step-daughter's website selling hand dyed sock yarns www.knotanotherknitter.com




      ~ * ~ * ~ Of all the things I've ever lost, I miss my mind the most! ~ * ~ * ~

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