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a bit of lightheartedness!

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  • a bit of lightheartedness!

    My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
    My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
    'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

    'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'





    ************************************************** ************************

    I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly
    the other driver got out of his car.

    You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
    Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!

    He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'
    So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'




    [FONT='Arial','sans-serif']
    ************************************************** **************************[/FONT]


    A woman is standing, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy
    with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

    The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
    View my flickr

    'I am sure it must hurt your eyes to work filigree by candlelight.' - Jane Austen

  • #2
    Love the first two, really made me laugh but as for the last one . . . . . typical man.
    Auntynet

    Step-daughter's website selling hand dyed sock yarns www.knotanotherknitter.com




    ~ * ~ * ~ Of all the things I've ever lost, I miss my mind the most! ~ * ~ * ~

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    • #3
      Love them, especially the car one
      Annette

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