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    Yesterday A guy answered a knock on the door, only to be confronted by a
    well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

    'Good morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of minutes
    of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered
    vacuum cleaners.'

    'Go away!' He said. 'I haven't got any money!', 'I'm broke!' and proceeded to lose the door.

    Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed wide open. 'Don't be too hasty!' he said. 'Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.' And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto the hallway carpet.

    'If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Sir, I will personally eat the remainder.'

    He stepped back and said, 'Well I hope you've got a *******
    good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning. What part of 'broke' do you not understand?'
    Selina

  • #2
    Ha! Love it!
    Anice xx
    Funkyhand x
    my website
    http://www.funkyhand.com
    my blog (updated 09/06/10)
    http://funkyhand.blogspot.com/
    Follow me on Twitter
    http://twitter.com/funkyhand

    Comment


    • #3
      Very good!
      View my flickr

      'I am sure it must hurt your eyes to work filigree by candlelight.' - Jane Austen

      Comment


      • #4
        Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm tasty!!

        Claire x

        Comment


        • #5
          good one!


          Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is in the air.

          Marie leans over to Pierre and says, 'Pierre, kiss me!'

          Pierre grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie's lips.

          'What are you doing, Pierre ?' says the startled Marie.

          'I am Pierre, zee French fighter pilot! When I 'ave red meat, I 'ave red wine!'

          She smiles and they start kissing.

          Things began to heat up a little and Marie says, 'Pierre, kiss me lower.'

          Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and pours it on her breasts.

          'Pierre! What are you doing now?' asks the bewildered Marie.

          'I am Pierre, zee French fighter pilot! When I 'ave white meat, I 'ave white wine!'

          She giggles and they resume their passionate interlude: and things really steam up.

          Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, 'Pierre, kiss me much lower!'

          Pierre rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in her lap.

          He then strikes a match and lights the cognac on fire.

          Marie shrieks and dives into the River Seine.

          Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms into the air and screams furiously, 'PIERRE , WHAT IN THE F#@K DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?'

          Our 'hero' stands and says defiantly,



          'I am Pierre, zee French fighter pilot! If I go down, I go down in flames!'
          Snowf1975

          https://www.etsy.com/listing/1039948...polished-beads

          Comment


          • #6
            Heheheheh!!!

            Fantastic!

            Comment


            • #7
              naughty

              naughty, you'll have the mods after you, if they can see it through the tears.
              My blog http://setters-delight.blogspot.com

              Folksy http://www.justgifts.folksy.com

              Comment


              • #8
                ooops. Are the mods quite strict????


                Heres another :

                An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas . Bert always wanted a pair of authentic
                cowboy boots, so seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.

                Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, 'Notice anything different
                about me?'

                Margaret looked him over. 'Nope.

                Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen
                completely naked except for the boots. Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time,
                'Notice anything different NOW?'

                Margaret looked up and exclaimed, 'Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was
                hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow!'

                Furious, Bert yelled, 'AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?'

                'Nope', she replied.

                'IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!'

                Without changing her expression, Margaret replied, 'Shoulda bought a hat, Bert.
                Shoulda bought a hat.'
                Snowf1975

                https://www.etsy.com/listing/1039948...polished-beads

                Comment

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