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  • Confidence

    Iv come to the conclusion that i lack confidence.....in life i mean. Iv always been a bit of a recluse in that way. I like company but in moderation and in small groups.
    Im finding the change from university to normal person a bit much. I cant decide what to do with my life job wise and any option that i think of i find myself rejecting it as i dont think i would be any good at it.

    Im starting my p/t job today at the pet shop and that will make me get out and talk to people. Im generally happy to avoid people but i do get bored and a little stir crazy being at home myself. Despite having the dog and cat and horse lol.

    Iv always thought i wanted to do crafty stuff but i have visions of me sitting at home working away on my own like a loner with no friends. But then i think of the alternative, having a job that makes me speak to people all day long, stress and targets and more stress.

    Sorry for the rambling thread. I was a little upset last night and talked to OH about it all. He was saying he doesnt think he helps as if he has his way he would wrap me up in cotton wool and protect me from the world lol! So he is trying to encourage me to get out into the world.
    Handmade Embroideries and Tapestries - Greentree Crafts on Facebook Etsy Shop Instagram

  • #2
    Where is Focus on Life when you need her? She is our resident therapist and general happy little ray of light.

    I am afraid I can't help you very much, I am a bit rubbish at offering words of wisdom or advice in general.

    You may be having a low point, but what do you enjoy doing? Follow that, no matter whether you think you are good at it or not, I find that, at times, when I am not feeling good about myself, I think I am rubbish at everything....... it's a state of mind.

    So, pull yourself together woman and start believing in yourself

    Hope that helps!
    www.beadlab.com

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    • #3
      We'll do whatever we can to support you, I'm sure. Craft fairs may be a good thing for you to consider, as you will be able to build up your confidence talking to visitors about your work. Good luck with everything!

      Si.
      Wood Tattoos
      Decorative Pyrography for all Occasions - Author of "Woodburning with Style" (2010) and "Learn to Burn" (2013)
      Facebook
      Flickr
      Twitter

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      • #4
        Im just having a mumble to myself thats all. I know i am no different to other people. I have to get on with life and problems just like anyone else. Just gotta do it i spose!
        Handmade Embroideries and Tapestries - Greentree Crafts on Facebook Etsy Shop Instagram

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        • #5
          Please don't think that your feelings don't matter...they do!...everyone has problems, that's true, but people handle things in different ways...really glad you had that rant as you say, as I would say I have felt the same from time to time and if anyone on here says they haven't then dont believe it...
          something I was told the other day...life is a b***h....if it was a sl** it would be easy...made me laugh!..(sorry if that offends anyone!)

          I agree with the advice given of going to a craft fair, even a local school one...dpends if you are wanting to make money or gain confidence most, as going somewhere and people wanting to pay for your work does more than boost your confidence...I did my first craft stall this last weekend..while nerve wracking to begin with, wondering if people would like the stuff I had made, I came back on a natural high as I sold quite a lot at higher prices than I expected!...I know which way my life journey is taking me now..

          You take care of you and find something you enjoy and you cant go far wrong!...I love your picture (avatar) by the way..beautiful scene!

          You will find that everyone on here is sooooo...supportive, as we have all had to find our own footing and know how difficult things can get...believe me, sitting at home and working on your craft stuff...if you have this forum to go to, you will NOT be on your own!!..lol

          Take care and feel better soon!

          Em
          Nutty Tigger

          www.cranberrylanecards.co.uk (in progress)

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          • #6
            Get it all out girl It's good to have a vent every now and then. Your DH sounds really supportive & sweet

            When I started working many moons ago, I was incredibly shy & had very little confidence. I have always hated talking to people I don't know (except for you lot - you're all imaginary and not really real, so it doesn't count ) and when I started my current job, I hardly spoke to anyone for about 2 years! Now 5 years on, I have made many friends & they're like an extended family. But even better, 90% of my client base is people from work who keep ordering jewellery from me. Almost every day I see someone in the office wearing something I have made

            I've had a stall at a craft fair 3 times now, and I'm much more comfortable speaking to people now when they have a look at my stuff. Before I just stood there smiling like a numpty. And like Nutty Tigger has said, it's such a boost when people comment on how lovely your work is, even if they don't buy anything.

            And since turning 30, I find I have much more confidence and I don’t care so much about what other people might think of me.

            So I suppose what I’m trying to say is that it’ll come with time.

            Hope this helps.
            Magriet

            www.babushkajewellery.co.uk
            http://babushkajewellery.blogspot.com/
            http://en.dawanda.com/user/BabushkaJewellery

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            • #7
              You sound exactly like me Handcrafted,exept your lucky enough to have an OH.Im the same as you but without one!!And a job!!Im gona pm you.
              https://folksy.com/shops/GrimmExhibition


              http://poisonedapplecraftuk.blogspot.co.uk/

              Poisoned Apple Theatre - Handmade Crafts on Facebook

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              • #8
                Ladies - go and do anything you want to do! Honestly - you can! What's the worst that will happen? You'll give it a try, find out that it's not for you, and try something else. I've learned that I'm a rotten salesperson 'cos I don't lie well enough, and that I hate being tied to targets... and how? By right royally b*ggering it up! And hating it, and being upset about it... and then going to do something else instead!

                You're not alone - we all feel that way sometimes, and I think everyone does. The best you can ever do in anything in life is to be honest and try hard, do the best that you can, and if it all falls down, then learn from that and pick up and do something else. Awful, but true... so take heart - you CAN do it, really you can!

                Cheers,
                Scorch

                Scorch's Pyrography : www.scorchpyro.co.uk
                Crafts on Flickr : http://www.flickr.com/photos/tanniso...7606138937826/

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                • #9
                  You remind me very much of myself!

                  I've spent years battling the confidence issue but I think that I'm finally learning to live with it. I spent ages looking for the "magic potion" that would suddenly give me confidence but I've come to realise that I have to accept the way I am and live my life accordingly. I don't hide away, but I do only poke my head out from under my rock when I feel up to it.

                  My crafting has been my turning point I think. I messed about with it for years making stuff for the kids and cards for friends and family but I never had the confidence to approach shops or do craft fairs to sell anything. It wasn't really that I didn't believe that what I was making would sell it was more that I didn't have the confidence to deal with people. When I discovered ways of selling online everything fell into place. I find I can interact with people online better than in the real world. When I'm dealing with people out and about I get nervous and start talking complete twaddle!

                  Good luck with your new job. A pet shop sounds like the perfect job to me. Hopefully there'll be lots of animals to talk to if the humans prove too much LOL! Seriously though, the best way to deal with it (and eventually overcome it) is to take baby steps. Don't force yourself to get out and meet people at too fast a pace or you'll find yourself backing out of everything. Set small goals and remember you're the boss! Luckily it sounds like your OH is the complete opposite to mine. Mine tries to push me into situations I'm not comfortable with (with the best intentions) and then wonders why I flip out!

                  Stay positive and don't forget there is always somebody on the forum when you need someone to talk to!

                  Blessed be!
                  Natalie
                  website blog

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                  • #10
                    Firstly I don't see anything wrong in being a little reclusive - I very much like my own company and hate the big busy scenes, preferring , when I choose, to meet up with small groups of friends rather than a big gaggle or crowd. I reckon many people would be envious as they have to go dashing about being part of the crowd and would do anything rather than be comfortable with themsleves.
                    The best way forward is slow and sure and you know, our confidence only grows when we test it out so dip your toe in the water and build up from there. It seems to me that now you no longer have the structure and label of student you are unsure what to call or be with yourself. How about something grand like "artisan" ?
                    Chris xx
                    My Website
                    My Blog

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                    • #11
                      Dopnt worry i know how you feel. I graduated last year and been in my first job for nearly a year-and i dont really enjoy it. I am not a shy person but i would say a bit introverted. I love being at my workbench and at uni i loved being in the studios with other ppl that had the same interests and we could bounce ideas of each other (I suppose thats why I came here).

                      And even though i dont enjoy my day job (working in an office calling ppl-blurgh) it has made me more outgoing and able to stand my ground. It does take a while to adjust from coming out of uni to working -it took me a good few months-and i still want to go back! It will get easier. Dont worry. A job is good too better than being a poor student-gives monies!
                      www.clarenash.co.uk

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                      • #12
                        You've taken the first step - p/t job - don't try to do it all at once. Get into your job then you can join any social life attached to it. There normally is, even if it is going to the Pub Friday lunch. So already you will have taken enormous strides in gaining self confidence. Slowly is the key word - don't push it or you will scare yourself away.

                        Lots of luck
                        Carol
                        Carol
                        God helps them that help themselves.

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                        • #13
                          Oh all you lovely people. You sound like my OH I am very grateful for my OH. Without him i would be...well god knows where i would be. I may have gone back home with my parents. Or i would have had to find a flat to rent. But i would definatly be worse off. Hes only my boyfriend but i am seriously going to snag him as my husband one day! But i am a traditional girl and need to wait on him to ask me

                          The pet shop was good today. Felt great to be out of the house! Though she only wants me for 3 hours a day for 3 days a week! Seriously hardly seems worth it! I am looking for other jobs too and if i find something else then i would go for that, which is a shame for this lady but i would like more hours. I need to fund a growing habit after all lol. (thats beads btw lol!)

                          I would like to be doing more craft stuff and getting a store sorted online but i need funds to do that. Which is where the job comes in.

                          I think my lack of confidence comes down to me having a speech thing. I stammer a bit. Think i may have mentioned before. Its ok it most situations but i can imagine me going into some big fancy job and my confidence would be even lower and i would stammer more lol. But with this it also comes down to confidence.

                          I just need to get over myself lol! My mother would be kicking me by now and telling me to stop being a baby! Its just a changing time and it will end.

                          It helps to have people to talk to about it, even if you are through a computer screen!

                          Seahorse will pm.
                          Handmade Embroideries and Tapestries - Greentree Crafts on Facebook Etsy Shop Instagram

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                          • #14
                            Self confidence what's that?

                            I spent all weekend myself as I had an interview this morning for a job that I really believe that I can do and desparately wanted.

                            (In my previous life I worked my way up in a bank (10 years) to a really good job and then got married had kiddlies and stayed home for 10 years. Recently got myself a little p/t time job 2 days a week through a friend. I'm overqualified for the job and it doesn't really suit my personality but I need the money (to support my habit - 20 bags of beads a day!!))

                            Anyway, Im limited what jobs I can go for cos the kiddlies (3 of the little angels!!) being at primary school and summer hols and such, and a job came up just perfect working for some schools locally all the skills that I acquired in my working life.

                            Last night when I went to bed I was soooo scared about the interview. All thru lack of self confidence. I had spent hours reading literature about the job and traipsing around the sales looking for the right clothes to wear (forget the money involved).

                            I went for the interview and did my best - only to get the call tonight to let me know that I had been unsuccessful although I had interviewed well and given some excellent answers to the questions asked of me. So now I'm back where I started feeling really low with my self confidence shattered yet again.

                            Anyway, (if your still reading this drivel), all I wanted to say was that we all feel the same at times. I know that outwardly day to day people think that I'm full of confidence - and I'm not. I will happily chat away to anyone but come to selling myself in an interview and I'm rubbish. Thing is you just have to get back up and hope that the next time it will be my turn and I'll end up doing something I really love. Fingers crossed!

                            Good luck with your quest. (I'm off to get another fix!!)
                            Claire x

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                            • #15
                              Lacking Confidence

                              This is also a current issue with me too, perhaps it goes with the sensitive, artistic personality which by nature is self doubting. I have been banned from dating by my daughter for six months in order to build up my confidence after having been rejected by my boyfriend and I am 55 years old. She says I have to be my own best friend before I look for anyone else. Many of my women friends have low self-esteem too. If you can take a look at the issues that make you feel lacking in confidence and ask yourself why? I was not given much praise as a child and consequently I am always trying to seek approval as if that would validate me.
                              All I can suggest is give yourself a big pat on the back for what you have achieved and then try to take small steps towards building confidence. I am going to London to see some museums by myself for instance. Don't compare yourself to others and learn to enjoy pleasing yourself.
                              Chris W.
                              x
                              Gemstone Jewellery and Gifts

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