Parents Be Aware

[heavenlygirl]

Just found out that one of my daughters college tutors has been grooming her via email, for the last 4 weeks he has been sending her numerous emails and text messages, asking her what she is wearing and askingher to send him pictures of her in her underwear, also asking her to meet up with him.

This man is at least in his mid forties and a married man and in a position of trust. I thought i would tell you all about this so that if you have teenage daughters please be aware that these things can happen.

We have reported him to the college and the police.He is to be arrested and we will see wear we go from there.

Just when you think that nothing else can go wrong, life throws you another curve ball.

So please all parents be aware.

Heather

[Peter]

There's a lot to be said for lynching some people.

[Annette]

Oh Heather, that's aweful. How's your daughter coping? What is it with these people!

I agree with Peter, a flipping good flogging and put in stocks. I've two boys, but god help anybody that tried to harm them in any way, shape or form.......:mad:

[Apple Tree Crafts]

...Heather, is your daughter ok? I do hope it hasn't affected her too deeply, poor kid.

Himself is Chair of Governors at our local secondary school, and we've had a similar case to this recently. I can't believe just how much of this is going on, and not just to girls either. It is truly heart-rending.

As Peter said, lynching....


Jules

[beadsbydesign]

Thank God you found out. Hope he gets what he deserves.

[mjbelkin]

That's just awful :o

Is it legal to tar and feather him?

[deezkatz]

Thats really awful, I hope your daughter and your family come through this okay, and she realises that not all people are like that.
All the best, let us know what happens and how you are coping.
Big hug x

[craftdancer]

How dreadful. It sounds flippant, although it is most certainly not meant to be, but hopefully he has been caught before he took matters to a physical level with anyone. I am aware that the mental side of it can be very traumatic, but to have have physical damage on top of that would have been much worse.

My very best wishes to your daughter, and any other youngsters who have been targeted by this person. I hope they can put this to one side and lead peaceful and happy lives in due course.

[heavenlygirl]

Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts about my daughter. Saw the police last night, (he must have been all of 12 years old), and they basically said that they could give him a warning and an £80 on the spot fine, which we were not particularly happy about. Then about half an hour later they rang to say that they he was not answering his phone and they were going round to house to arrest him, and they wanted a print out of all the emails that he sent her.,that is the last we have heard so far.Sounds to me like someone at the station may have taken it a bit more seriously after seeing a couple of the emails that we had given thm copies of.

We have also reported him to the college, who i add were horrified and were very helpful and have said that they will inform the college where he has moved to now.

The worst thing is it took so long for my daughter to tell us about it because she thought she had brought it on herself in some way. It makes me feel sick that he has made her feel that way, him a 40 somethingyear old man with a wife and kids in a position of trust and her only 16!!

We are trying to decide weather to Inform his wife.

My daughter seems a lot more releived now we know and that something is being done, she wants to let his wife know what her husband is like.

When we go to the college to pick up her exam results we aregoing to reccommend to the college that he is not there or it will not be a pretty site after my husband gets hold of him. Apparntly he has been looking forward to seeing her there.

As you can tell im abit wound up about it all and i just want to rip his ***** off so i will stop talking about it now and have a beer to calm down.

Heather:frusty:

[Peter]

If he has daughters you're obliged to inform his wife. Too many get away with it because nobody wants to go public - in this case 'public' is his wife. She will probably bite your head off, but at least she'll be watching him in future.

[heavenlygirl]

If he has daughters you're obliged to inform his wife. Too many get away with it because nobody wants to go public - in this case 'public' is his wife. She will probably bite your head off, but at least she'll be watching him in future.
We thought we might just print off emails put them in a named envelope and drop them off at her place of work so that we dont haveto confront her.

[EMEvans]

I would definetly tell his wife and give her a copy of the evidence so she can chuck it in his face. I know it might ruin her life but i think she has a right to know what her husband is like. I'm glad something is being done about him and keep us posted with any news you have on the situation.

Take care. x

[nattynetty]

Oh Heather what a horrible thing for your daughter (and you and hubby) to be going through - best not type what I think of him as it'd be bleeped out.

Hopefully you won't need to tell his wife as she'll soon find out when the police arrive at their house. Also take some comfort in the fact that you've got proof in the emails so he's unlikely to squirm his way out of it so looks like he'll be saying bye-bye to his marrage and career and hello to a court appearance (and publicity) and the sex offenders list.

[heavenlygirl]

Oh Heather what a horrible thing for your daughter (and you and hubby) to be going through - best not type what I think of him as it'd be bleeped out.

Hopefully you won't need to tell his wife as she'll soon find out when the police arrive at their house. Also take some comfort in the fact that you've got proof in the emails so he's unlikely to squirm his way out of it so looks like he'll be saying bye-bye to his marrage and career and hello to a court appearance (and publicity) and the sex offenders list.

hopefully this will happen, but i am very sceptical of the law system these days, he will probably get away with it on some technicality.

The men that jumped a red light and ran my sons friend over on a traffic ligt crossing got off on a techniclity because they couldnt seem to agree who was driving the car. They should have just prosecutedthem both but instead they got off.

When my eldest son aged 12 at the time got held down by a drunk for some other kid to beat up he got off because he was drunk and probably woulnt remember what he did. What my son suffred didnt matter.

So needless to say i dnt have a lot of faith in the system.

[heavenlygirl]

They arrested him yesterday, charged him and allowed him out on bail and he has to return in two weeks.They are puttng it to the county court tosee if it can be taken further. This is quite result considering they said he was only going to get a slap on the wrist and a fine. I think there must be a history with him they are not telling us about.

[michelleC]

OMG! This is truly dreadful.
I'm glad to hear it is being taken more seriously.
As a family it must be very traumatic.
This man was in a position of trust, and I truly hope justice will prevail and he will never be allowed to take on another position of trust.
I think your idea of sending copies of the e-mails to his wife is well worth it. She has a right to know even though initially I'm sure it will cause distress, also there are other issues if he is around other youngsters etc, as has been mentioned. Have you informed the school governors??? I'm a governor and all too often we are the last to know. It really is worth putting it to them. If that sort of info came to me I would move heaven and earth to protect other pupils.
My thoughts are with you and your family.