I feel so sad....

[JBJB]

My husband has said I shouldn't write about it in case the family see, so now he's made me feel guilty and so I'm editing this post.

Thank you all for your comments, those who know what I'm talking about.

[janetdc]

I have no link at all but that just brought tears to my eyes. My son is 12 this week and I gave him a really hard time last night about his homework but reading your post has made me feel awful. As you say there are no words for something like that.

[lauralou1601]

That realy is sad. Theres nothing you can say at times like this except that your thinking of them.

[SusieQ]

Oh how awful. I think it is natural to feel like you do because as a mother you are horrified that it could be you. There but for the grace of God............... Similar thing happended when Tim was about 15. A good friend was knocked off his pushbike on a main road and eventually his life support machine had to be turned off. Not a scratch or mark on him, he had hit his head on the pavement. Tim and I were devastated. The Church at the funeral was packed and when they played his favourite song 'Sweet Child of mine' - he played the drums when he was alive - everyone was in tears, it was the saddest occasion ever. One of his friends was behind us in Church and he was breaking his heart. It makes me shiver thinking of it!!!!! We all take each day so much for granted don't we? I just feel for the poor family.It looks like a funeral coming up for you now. Let us all know when it is and we can say a prayer and think about the poor little boy. Sue xx:)

[nettie]

Phew, makes you take a deep breathe doesn't it. I did the same last night janet with our 13yr old son and now want to give him a big hug. Feelings and emotions are there to be felt so let it all out...best wishes to you and the little boy's family.

[woodtattoos]

What a tragedy, the end of a life far too soon. There really is nothing you can say in these situations other than just letting people know that you are there if they need you.

[sunshine]

Thats realy really sad....There is nothing you can say.....Expect that you are thinking of them and you are there if they need you....

[Recycled Bag Lady]

How sad. I think it is natural for you to feel the way you are doing - last year a couple of local children, the same age as my son, were killed and I felt awful. It is a big reminder not to take our families for granted :(

[mummycupcake]

I agree with everything everyone else has said. There is nothing you can do or say but the card you are sending sounds just right.

The fact this has knocked you for six doesn't make you selfish it just showes your empathy, that you have a big heart and you care about people even if you don't know them very well.

[nattynetty]

The fact this has knocked you for six doesn't make you selfish it just showes your empathy, that you have a big heart and you care about people even if you don't know them very well.

Absolutely, it's called empathy and if more people had it the world would be a better place. I think what you've written in the card sounds just right.

[kalinda]

What devastating news!! It's normal you feel the way you do. A neighbour of mine to whom I talk plenty had her baby boy in Aug 28th and he had heart problems. He died 10 days later in his mum's heart. When I went upstairs to see her I was distraught and in tears and I still flood into tears when I think of it or see her out of my window.
Absolutely devastating news. As other people have said, it makes you realise how much you take everybody around you for granted.
I think your card sounds very appropiate.
Monica

[Chris W]

It is very sad to read this thread and know that some of us have been touched by sadness this way, one of my daughter's school friends was murdered a few years ago and it is hard to even think about it and I am unsure how a child can process losing a friend. At the time my daughter didn't want to talk about it very much and still hasn't.
However when my husband died suddenly, two years ago, we were able to talk about it a great deal and we still do because sometimes grief catches you unawares and it needs to be expressed.
Sending you my love.

[Critchley]

When tragedy strikes as close as this, one is forced to face up to how frail and vulnerable we humans are. The loss of a family member is always sad but the lose of a child is unbearable, they are our future and supposed to outlive us. My heart, as I am sure everyone elses, goes out to the family.

[WolfSong2000]

It is awful...the 17 year old daughter of a good friend of mine died suddenly just a few weeks ago because if diabetes related complications. I got the chance to meet her just before she died as I was out in the USA, and she was a lovely kid...troubled, but lovely. Her mom's still trying to cope with the whole thing and I feel totally useless because I'm not there to comfort her in person. Death is tragic at any age, but especially so with kids :(

[auntynet]

The loss of a family member is always sad but the lose of a child is unbearable, they are our future and supposed to outlive us.

"No-one ever expects to have to bury their kids - they're supposed to bury us".

They were the words I remember hearing my dad say when my 14 year old brother died over 30 years ago. He died in a road accident - not the usual run of the mill get knocked over type of accident. Oh no - my brother went one better than that! He and his mates had a "tarzan" type swing rigged up to swing out over a very busy road and they took it in turns to swing out over the cars. When my brother's turn came round, it wasn't a car but a transit van. He hit the van and never regained conciousness.

I speak from experience when I say that however trivial it seems to send a card in tragic circumstances like these, it does help most people. We received literally hundreds of sympathy cards and letters from family, friends, neighbours and even from strangers, all of which were put in a huge cardboard box and stashed away at the bottom of the wardrobe in the spare bedroom. My dad was distraught and we weren't allowed to discuss my brother or even mention his name for a long time as he just couldn't bear to have to think about him.

About 7 or 8 years after my brother's death, I remember wondering where my dad was one day when he had disappeared upstairs. Mum went up to find dad in the spare bedroom surrounded by the cards and letters that had been hidden away years before.

Dad was overwhelmed by the thought that so many people cared enough to take the time to send their condolences. It took him a lot of years to learn how to cope with his grief but he got there in the end and he did take comfort from reading those cards and letters eventually.

[colourart]

I've come to this late and don't really know whats gone on, but just wanted to send you hugs.

[Focus on Life]

...me too JB but my thoughts are with you and everyone who's touched by what has obviously been a life lost too soon

Tragic losses can only ever be partly-healed by time and I wish them happy memories to cherish during the most difficult moments

Love
Shaz x

[JBJB]

I took the difficult decision this morning to have a break from the business.

I had been feeling worn-out for a while and haven't ever really had a break in 3 years.

I've updated my website to say "updating website back soon" so have in effect shut it down.

I don't know how long I'll feel this way, but the tragic news over the weekend has really made me stop and think long and hard about family and priorities.

In a way, I'm looking forward to getting back to "pottering" at stuff and "playing" with fabrics and beads again, rather than HAVING to make orders all the time.

I was finding it very hard to get motivated (even before the weekend) so I think it's for the best.

I know I shall probably miss out on the Christmas market. I have a few good shows booked for Christmas that I can now spend time getting stock ready for.

I do feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders, so I know I've made the right choice - it's just a shame it took such a horrible accident in somebody else's life to make me realise that.

[kipper workshops]

Hi JBJB,

I got to this thread late so I am not sure of the details but I can see that there has been a terrible tragedy. I was sat here reading all the lovely comments in my post celebrating the arrival of little Wilbur and then found your post. Life is truly a cycle, with no rhyme or reason.

My thoughts are with you and I am very sure you will do the right thing. I enjoy your posts here on the forum, and I always read your blog and admire your crafts. You do right to go with your instincts and if you feel you need a break and even a re-think about your business, your commitments and your daily routines then that is a good thing. Take your time and try and get some rest.

I have just ran down stairs and given Wilbur a big tight hug, Clare too.

Take care.
Steve

[Critchley]

Don't forget JBJB I know you feel the family need you but you yourself MUSDT make time for some personal space - so important for your well being.

[Pebbles]

JBJB, take that time out and relax. It's times like this when we realise what is important. I missed your original thread so I don't know what has happened but it has obviously affected you deeply.

So take that time out and start enjoying your craft again.

[colourart]

JBJB - when something tragic happens it does help you re-evaluate your life and you clearly have been working very hard. I hope this time away from your business gives you the time with your family that you need. I hope you find a little time to pop on here and I look forward to seeing some of the new ideas which you will undoubtedly come up with in your time away. Take care of yourself and your precious family.

Amanda
x

[JBJB]

I've just seen this on the "Thisis" website for this area.

I guess now that the family have issued a public statement, there is no harm in me sharing the details with you.

http://www.thisiswiltshire.co.uk/display.var.2447998.0.familys_tribute_to_dead_son. php

I know Sam's mother.
His little sister is in Toby's class.